Get low, Naruto! RW!
by Meinos Kaen
Summary: A.W.C.B.G.L.T., as in Annual Wave Country Beach Games and Limbo Tournament. It’s the closest thing the ninja villages have to a vacation. And the leaf is going to be there, of course! Expect madness and Anko in a GString! REWRITE
1. Looking underneath Things

Get low Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! Otherwise… Sigh. I get depressed whenever I think about it.

Many of you probably have read the previous version of this story… Well, I decided to rewrite it, even if it was coming something awfully good out of it… I think that I could write it better if I used less OCs… After all, I have plenty of girls to use, right now. Between canon, movies and fillers… So, enjoy the ReWrite of Get Low Naruto!

_Prologue_

"AWCDL… What?" This was the first reaction of Naruto after hearing the initials of whatever Tsunade was proposing to the group that had gathered together in her office. But Naruto didn't get the entire bunch of initials with the first try, judging from his confused face.

"Sigh… A.W.C.B.G.L.T., as in Annual Wave Country Beach Games and Limbo Tournament. It's the closest thing the ninja villages have to a vacation." Replied the Hokage. This time she didn't yell at Naruto, because everyone in the room had a confused look on their faces. "It's at the same time a vacation and a competition. It's an agreement we came to recently. You see, after Team7 famous mission in the wave country, said country began to rebuilt their economical well-being. And this led an increment of tourism. So much… That the villages have decided to rent for a whole month the bigger and most beautiful of the minor islands of that country."

Explained that, all became clearer. Many mixed reactions. Who was excited, who bored, who blushed thinking about swimming suits, Kakashi was giddy. If Jiraiya was to come as well, he was certain that a new episode of Icha Icha would be released very soon.

"Well, of course there are a few rules. Number one: you're not allowed to wear your forehead protectors. That because fights will not be permitted. It's a vacation, and as such, no fights. Just games where you can humiliate other opponents. Understood?" The whole group nodded, minus Naruto. He swallowed. "Number two… Enjoy yourselves! Have fun! Any questions?" Surprisingly, Naruto immediately raised his hand. "Yes, Naruto?"

"Baa-chan, do…" Naruto dodged the table by crouching down, but someone behind him wasn't so lucky, since the piece of furniture hit him straight in the face.

"OH MY GOD! LEE!"

"I mean, is this something just for the major villages?"

"Good question. No, the planning and booking was open to every ninja village, and even countries without an army forces. You know, to share the expenses." She said. Naruto nodded and then grinned.

"Nice!" Naruto gave the Hokage a thumbs up. He hoped that he could meet again some of the friends he had in other villages. Tsunade raised an eyebrow at his behaviour, but smiled nonetheless.

"Anymore questions?" No one talked- Good. The appointment is tomorrow morning, at 8 o clock. Dismissed." Slowly, everyone left the room. And once outside, the girls let out a squeal that they didn't even know they were holding in. Once in a while, going back to being babies. But before Naruto could leave the room, a glass was thrown to the back of his head.

"OW! Baa-chan, what the hell?!"

"I owed you one. And it was to catch your attention." Naruto silently fumed at the Hokage's smirking face. "Well, you see… We have a problem with one of the people who is to come with us."

"Uh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You mean, like, he doesn't want to come?"

"She. She doesn't want to come. But I think you could persuade her otherwise."

--

"…" She kept on observing herself in the mirror. The colour of the bikini was alright. It looked well. A darker shade of azure… Her hair were in a single ponytail, unlike usual… But she sighed nonetheless. It wasn't because of the bikini… It was because of what was under it. "That's it. I'm not going."

"Isaribi-neechan! Open the door!"

"Eeep!" The sudden violent banging and loud voice made the girl jump and instinctively cover herself. She blushed pretty hard right after, out of embarrassment. "O-One second!" The girl put back on her usual clothes, not bothering to change out of her bikini, and went to open the door, finding herself face to face with the ball of energy with blonde hair that was Naruto Uzumaki. "N-Naruto… You scared me…"

"Isaribi-neechan, why don't you want to come to the beach? I thought you loved sea."

"Ah…" Naruto really was more direct and forward of that train that once had almost squashed him. The girl began to observe the ground and play with her ponytail. She didn't want to tell him that she didn't want to go because… Of her body. "Ehm… I just… I just don't feel like it, Naruto… I'm sorry…"

"Awww… Come on…" Naruto pouted… And then remembered what the hag had told him. 'If she's that adamant about the thing, tell her these exact words. Memorize them. _I have to say…_ "It's a pity… I was looking forward to it…"

"E-Eh?" This really caught Isaribi's attention. She raised her head and blinked, staring at Naruto. "You were.. Looking forward to it?"

"Yes!" _Now I have to say… Why do I have the feeling I've read this somewhere?_ He then proceeded to do like Tsunade had told him to do. He moved his head to the side and lowered it a bit. He stared at the ground, and then looked back at Isaribi, holding his hands behind his back. "I mean… I looked forward to see nee-chan in a bikini…"

"…" Isaribi's brain was assaulted by a wave of cuteness practically oozing from Naruto because of a mix of factors. The pose, the words, the tone of voice… The word 'nee-chan' sounded so… Alluring… Isaribi became as red as the blood going all to her head and face. "I-I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW THEN! I STILL HAVE TO PACK! BYE!" She closed the door and threw herself under the shower. She needed a cold one, before doing anything else. Naruto just stood there dumbfounded.

"It worked… Wow. But what do I have the feeling that ero-sennin has something to do with this?" Little did he know that in Tsunade's plan there was a 70 of probability that Isaribi would jump him right there on her door-step.

--

"Mmmm…" In the meanwhile, a similar scene was happening in another country named after a mammal animal who sleeps lots of time, in winter. This girl had already decided that she would go to the beach. She had purchase that violet bikini as soon as she heard they were going. But she had a problem with her figure as well. Not that it was a bad figure. At all, but… The girl just was fixated on a point. She suddenly stomped the ground in frustration "Damn! I've been drinking milk for months!"

"Still can't get over the fact that they won't grow no matter what?"

"SUMARU! GET OUT OF HERE! IMMEDIATELY!" The Hoshigakure Jounin managed to dodge his friend throw of a sandal by ducking down, without stopping his snickering one minute, observing Hokuto's enraged figure.

"Come on, Naruto will like you even with a B-Cup. After all, your legs make up for it." Sumaru blinked at the girl, who blushed even more, but immediately turned around.

"W-What the hell are you saying? We don't even know if he'll be there…"

"I read your mail."

"… Damn." Busted.

--

"Koyuki-sama, I don't think it's a good idea…"

"Oh, don't be stupid. Even a princess-actress has the right to take a little vacation once in a while, Tomo. And I haven't seen the sea in a while."

"I was talking about your plans, Koyuki-sama." The princess turned to her attendant with a shocked face. The girl just shook her head slowly. "Don't forget that I'm the one who takes care of your correspondence, Koyuki-sama. Especially of the correspondence that you send to people like Haruna-hime, Toki-hime and the Hokage of Konohagakure. I have to ask you to reconsider."

…" Koyuki snapped shut the fan she was holding, and picked out some pictures from the inside of her vest and handed them to Tomo.

Curious, Tomo looked at the picture... then proceeded to blush all the colours of the rainbow before settling down on red, her eyes widening in shock as she looked down at the picture then at Koyuki, then back at the picture, then back at Koyuki like a broken puppet.

"One word… And the whole country will be plastered with copies of these pictures. Agreed?"

The poor girl couldn't do anything but nod her soul out in fear.

--

"Have you checked my luggage?"

"Yes, miko-sama."

"Good! Everything has to be perfect!" While her servants prepared everything for her trip, Shion kept on trying on various outfits and swimming suits. That vacation was the perfect occasion… "There's a certain ninja who owes me something… And I'm not talking about a descendant only."

--

All in all, it seems that Naruto was in for one hell of a vacation.

**Get low, Naruto! RW**

**Chapter1: Looking underneath… Things**

"You're all here? Good thing. How do you like our choice of travel?"

Every ninja was now in casual, and everyone had, as promised, left their forehead protectors at home. Neji, to hide his caged bird seal, opted for a white headband, which looked damn good on him, in his opinion. Not that he was going to ever say that out loud, of course, but it still looked damn good. But everyone's attention wasn't on the choice of clothing of whoever… But, like Tsunade had made them notice, their means of travels. Carriages. Pulled by horses.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Hokage-sama, not that the thing bothers me… But we would go faster by ourselves, right?"

"Yes, but as I explained, Shikamaru, during this vacation we will act as normal civilians. So, we will ride by carriages." Said the Hokage, proud of her explanation, nodding to herself with her arms crossed. "It will be nice to change, for once. Some of you even offered to guide a carriage along with the people I hired."

"Yosh!" Everyone turned to the source of the voice. Gai… For once, not wearing spandex… But this was even worse. A Hawaiian shirt, that he wore opened, showing off his chest with just one single hair in the middle of it. Sandals. Dark green Kaki shorts. Sunglasses. And a stereo on his shoulders. Maito Gai had officially gone surf. "Let us enjoy this vacation with the power of youth! Like a tidal wave of pure energy!"

"Yosh! Go, Gai-sensei!" Guess who… Everyone else sweatdropped. Tsunade cleared her throat with a little cough, before talking again.

"Well, no point in standing here any longer. Each carriage can hold max four persons. And since we're simple civilians, have fun mixing up the groups for the travel!" Tsunade said this with the loudest and most cheerful voice possible, emulating a certain fellow blonde, who couldn't help but snicker while most of the crowd cheered. Then, he saw Kakashi and Sakura enter a carriage, and was about to follow them, when someone grabbed the scarf of the shirt he was wearing.

"Uh? What the… Kurenai-sensei?" Naruto turned around to face the smiling woman.

"Naruto, since you're left out of that carriage, since it's been borded by Yamato and Sai…" Naruto turned around… And sweatdropped. The woman was right… But he had been left out just because she had suddenly grabbed him. He was about to give her a retort… "I want to ask you a favour."

"Uh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow while Kurenai let go of him and he turned around. "What favour?"

"Well, I'll travel with my old team 8, but doing so I would leave alone someone else. Can I ask you to keep her company?" She said. Naruto didn't know why, but that smile didn't really seem… Natural, to him.

"I…"

"Wonderful! Get in!"

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Before he could say anything else, Naruto was literally thrown into the carriage Kurenai was standing next to, and the woman then closed the door from the outside behind him. Then, the jounin turned to her Hokage and raised her forearm, giving her a thumbs-up. Tsunade grinned.

_Eheheh… Not even Jiraiya could plan something like this… He's going to kiss my ass, when… Well… My feet. Make it my feet._

In the meanwhile, in the carriage… Or better, on the floor of the carriage, Naruto was rubbing his chin seated with his legs crossed, in pain because of the hit he had taken after the shove.

"Itaaaaiiiiiii… What the hell was up with Kurenai-sensei? Pushing me all of a sudden…"

"Na-Naruto?"

"Uh?" Naruto raised his head. He had almost forgot that Kurenai had said something about keeping company to someone… But he didn't expect to find himself face to face with Kurama Yakumo. "Yakumo-neechan!"

"Hi, Naruto. It's… It's been a while." The girl blushed and adjusted her long dress over her legs, while Naruto got back standing and then seated, taking in the girl's appearance. She had change slightly, from the last time he had seen her. And that was before he began his journey with Jiraiya. She had gotten taller, and her hair were maybe even longer. Her skin… Not ghostly pale anymore. It had become creamy white.

"Yeaaaah! A long while! Last time I saw you was when I came to say hi to you before departing! Then I've been so occupied… I'm so sorry!" Naruto held his hands over his head, bowing down to Yakumo in a sign of apology. The girl blushed a little, but smiled.

"It's alright… I'm happy that you remember me, Naruto." Naruto replied to her smile with one of his grins.

"Like I could ever forget you!" This last comment caused Yakumo to blush more, and blink at him. He… Couldn't forget her? She was about to ask more, when his attention got caught by something else. "Is that a sketchbook?"

"Ehm… Yes." The girl instinctively clutched the object a bit tighter. "I've starter practicing my Genjutsu with drawings instead of paintings. I suppose they're much quicker to do…"

"Can I see?!" Naruto's sudden outburst caught Yakumo off guard, making her jump in her seat.

"Ehmm… I don't… I mean, I'm not that good at it yet…" She brought the sketchbook to her chest with a hand while waving the other quickly in front of herself. Naruto blinked at her… And then suddenly grinned.

"Neeeee-chaaaaaaan… If you don't make me see it…" Yakumo suddenly blinked and swallowed. What was with that look? It looked devious… "I'll tickle you!"

"Eh?! N-No!" Before she could put up some kind of reaction, Naruto was all over her, tickling her body. "N-No! Stop! Ahahahah! I… I mean… No, not theeeeeeeeere! Ahahahahahahhhhhhhhh! Narutoooooooooooo!"

"Fear Uzumaki Naruto tickle no Jut… Woah!" Suddenly, the carriage began to move with a rushing start, and Naruto tumbled and fell upon Yakumo, planting a kiss on her forehead in the process. Yakumo blushed so red that a tomato would have been jealous. "Darn, they could at least warn before moving like that! I'm sorry, Yakumo-neechan… Uh?" Naruto noticed that Yakumo had frozen completely, and she was very… Red… He grinned. In a swift move, he snatched the sketchbook out of the girl's hands. "Gotcha!"

"Ah!" The girl immediately snapped out of it, and lunged at Naruto as well. "Give it back!"

"Not before I see your drawings!" While holding the pale girl at bay with one hand, Naruto used the other to open the sketchbook… And he blinked. "Eh?" The first drawing of the sketchbook was… Two people kissing? Before he could analyze it more in dept, Yakumo took it back.

"I-I don't want to show them… Yet!" _That was close!!_

"Meeh, I don't understand, nee-chan… They looked pretty good, to me."

"Ehm… The point is… They're pretty personal." Yakumo could feel all the blood in her body rush to her face. "You see, I… I draw what I remember of my dreams, in this sketchbook… So…" _Please don't ask that question, please don't ask that question, please don't ask that question…_

"Really?" Naruto rubbed his chin… And then grinned. "Theeeeeeeeeen… Who were the two people kissing in the drawing? Eh, Yakumo nee-chan?" Yakumo squirmed, hiding her face with the sketchbook.

_Naruto, you baaaaaaaakaaaaaaaaa!_ "I… I don't know… I still haven't managed to get a clear image of their faces!" Yakumo blushed. And she knew that the whole trip would have been of teasing her if she didn't find another argument of conversation. "Ehmm… Would… Would you like me to make you a portrait?"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. Strange question out of the blue… But he grinned nonetheless "Of course! Want me to get in pose?"

"J-Just sit and stay still…"

--

There's a legend, in Konoha. The legend is that every Hokage makes one big mistake in his/her life. For example, the third made a mistake while judging Orochimaru. The fourth made a mistake when he believed that the village would have seen Naruto as a hero. Tsunade made a mistake when she had nominated Gai as the driver of one of the carriages. The front one that everyone else was following. The idiot had gone off the normal road. The thing made so many bumps, jumps and strange movements that everyone inside the carriages was now green. Gai and Lee included. And that led to the thinking that they were somewhat masochist.

"Gai-sensei…" Neji, with the will of fire, managed to stuck out his head to talk with his sensei/torturer. "Get… This thing… Back… On the normal road."

"But… Neji-kun… This is… A fantastic opportunity… To train… Our youthful stomachs…" He replied. And suddenly, an enormous killer intent spread around them.

"TOO BAD THAT YOUR UNYOUTHFUL DRIVING IS UPSETTING OUR YOUTHFUL STOMACHS SO MUCH THAT WE'RE ABOUT TO PUKE OUR YOUTHFUL BREAKFASTS! TAKE THESE YOUTHFUL CARRIAGES ON THE NORMAL ROAD YOUTHFULLY RIGHT NOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO UNYOUTHFULLY RIP OFF YOUR ALREADY UNYOUTHFUL MANHOOD!"

Gai pulled the reins. Hard. Every man in the range of the shout cringed at the mental images. On Kiba, it had the effect of making him finally losing his breakfast. The only male unaffected was Sai, who stuck out his head along with the other women towards the source of the sudden outburst.

"… Hinata?"

"…"

--

After Hinata's outburst, Gai was persuaded to go back on the normal road. But of course, it still had to be done Maito-style. So, he did the entire trip in reverse. How did he manage to not destroy everything at his passage was a mystery. The carriages came to a halt in front of a bridge.

"We stopped…" The blonde scratched the top of his head.

"I've finished, Naruto."

"Uh?! Really! Let me see!" Yakumo was about to hand Naruto her sketchbook… But after noticing something, she took it back.

"Ehm… Do you mind if I colour it, first?" She asked, blushing a little.

"Uh?" Naruto shrugged, but smiled nonetheless. "If you want to, go ahead, nee-chan."

"Thanks… Well, I guess we should get out of the carriage… You first?" Yakumo needed some time alone to hide the drawing she had just made. Naruto nodded, opened the door and stepped out of the carriage… And then grinned. He knew that bridge.

"Eheheh… Tazuna-san did really a good work." The bridge was magnificent. There were many additions that weren't there the first time. Like, lights, and a… A railroad? "A train? But didn't those things exist just in other countries, like… The spring country?"

"Yeah, but since that country became free and open to relationships with other countries again, they've started to share some of their technology." Naruto turned around when he heard Tsunade answering to his question. Then, he noticed that she was staring in an amused way at the bridge. "By the way, Naruto… They hold you in high regards here, hn?"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked quizzically. Tsunade walked to his side.

"I heard from Kakashi that you did quite a number on the people here… But he never told me that they had named the bridge after you."

"EH?!" Naruto turned to the bridge… And saw the huge letters plastered on it. 'Great Naruto Bridge'. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"You didn't know either? I guess they must have decided this after your departure." Tsunade chuckled. "Well, we're here to catch the train that will bring us on the island. We just have to wait for the people from other countries to reach us."

"Eh? People from other countries?" Tsunade nodded.

"Yes. You see, the train does just one trip for day. That's why different countries will arrive on different days. We've got to board it with the representatives of the Spring Country, Vegetable Country and Bird Country."

"Spring, Vegetable, and Bird… Hmmm…" Naruto rubbed his chin. There was something really familiar about those names… Then it hit him. "Ah! Then, you don't mean that there will be…"

"Naruuuuuuuuuuutoooooooooooo!"

"ACK!" Before Naruto could say their name, the three princesses had glomped him to the ground from behind, under the stares of a good part of the Konoha audience, with mixed reactions. Someone was plotting shark attacks. Someone else was thinking about experimenting cubism in her paintings. Someone else was blushing while plotting murder. And Sakura was outright screaming.

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And Kakashi was gripping the pages of his Icha Icha as hard as he could, staring at the book. _I-Impossible… It's… It's like in the 4__th__ chapter… The hero and a princesses sandwich!!_

--

And sandwich it was. After gathering everyone and boarding the train, the three princesses had dragged the blonde with them to a vacant compartment, just for the four of them. Naruto was blushing while experiencing for once the life of a teddy bear.

"Awww! Your hair are even softer than what I remember, Naruto!" The girl in charge of his head was Haruna, currently. And Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Haruna-neechan… I don't remember you ever touching my hair."

"…" Haruna kept her smiling face, but she froze. _Ops…_ "Ahh, don't be silly! I'm sure I touched it lots of times!" _When you were asleep, though…_

"Look how you've grown! I don't remember you being so muscular, last time I saw you!" The spring country princess snuggled against his right arm more.

"That was one and a half year ago when I was travelling with ero-sennin, Koyuki-neechan…" Naruto really hoped that the girl was carrying melons-shaped marshmallows in her outfit.

"Your whiskers are as cute as I remember!" While snuggling against his left arm, Toki was brushing his whiskers with the tip of her fingers.

"Ehm…" Naruto didn't know why, but he felt like he had to change the subject to something else than his looks. And quickly. "Ehm, Toki-neechan? How's Chishima-niisan?"

"He's doing fine." Toki smiled at him, and caressed his whiskers more, a bit more slowly. "He's doing even better ever since he came out."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked and no matter that he had to break the girls' attentions, he felt the impulse to sit down before asking. "He came out? What do you mean?"

"Uh?" Toki blinked. "I thought I told you last time… You know, that he was… He swings…" Naruto gave her just a puzzled look, as an answer. As much as that clueless face made her want to glomp him again right there, she kept her composure. "Naru-Kun, Chishima is a homo." Naruto's jaw dented the train's floor.

"B-B-B-BUT! WASN'T HE IN LOVE WITH YOU?!"

"Nope. He was in love with my brother." Toki said that with the most normal voice that she managed to use, making Naruto sweatdrop heavily… And then scream.

"ARGH! NOW I UNDERSTAND! HE WASN'T CHECKING OUT MY RAMEN, THAT TIME! HE WAS CHECKING OUT ME!"

"Awww, don't worry, Naruto-kun!" Naruto suddenly found his face shoved between's Koyuki's chest. "We're here to protect you from those bad, bad guys who want to jump your bones and have their way with you!"

And even if the three princesses shared that intention… Well, they had two things more and one thing less than those bad guys. And from a hole in the wall, Tsunade was observing everything and snickering, under the stare of one sweatdropping Shizune.

"This is getting sooooooo goooooooooooood…" Tsunade actually giggled like a schoolgirl. Shizune palmed her face.

"Tsunade-sama… Don't tell that this is the result of all the messages you and the three women on the other side of the wall have exchanged over the months…"

"Exactly! All this, including the month of vacation we're going to have from tomorrow onwards, is a result of a plan I've developed over a year ago!" Tsunade turned to Shizune and produced her best evil laugh.

"… Including the 'Who's the biggest shotacon' challenge?" Shizune wasn't one for sarcasm, usually, but that needed to be said. Tsunade just grinned.

"Yup! That too is the result of my awesome planning! Not even Jiraiya has ever managed to do something like this! Muahahahahah! Even if I have to admit that his novels have been a great source of inspiration for some of the things I have planned…"

"Foolish woman… Do you really believe this to be the result of your efforts only?" Tsunade and Shizune blinked, then turned to the source of the voice… And shrieked in fear when they saw Jiraiya sitting there, appeared out of nowhere, complete with Hawaiian shirt and kaki shorts. Not as flashy as Kisame, but it was a strange sight nonetheless.

"W-W-W-WHAT THE HELL… NO, HOW THE HELL?!" Tsunade did not lower her voice, and Jiraiya just kept on sitting there unfazed, while the train trekked over the railroad, over the sea.

"I have been on this train before you were. Easy." Tsunade blinked. "Returning to my question… Who do you think made Kumo and Iwa agree to the agreement, considering their relationships with Konoha in the old days?"

"…" Tsunade blinked again. Now that she thought about it… She had believed that it would have been harder to persuade them. "Don't tell me…"

"While Konoha is an enemy of Iwa and Kumo…" Jiraiya jumped on his feet and made his victory pose. "Jiraiya the almighty novelist is the one who brings sexy smut to the town!" Tsunade palmed her face. She couldn't believe it… She was snapped out of her inner grumbling by the sound of the sliding door of Naruto's compartment and the whining of three princesses.

"Aww… Come back soon, alright?"

"Are you sure you don't want one of us to accompany you?"

"I just have to go to the bathroom. And why would you want to accompany me? To help me how?" Naruto said laughing.

"Well, it looks pretty heavy to…" Before Haruna could finish her sentence, Koyuki and Toki slapped their hands on her mouth. Naruto blinked, but didn't pay it much thought. Nature was calling. When they were sure Naruto was at a safe distance, Toki and Koyuki released Haruna. The Vegetable Country's princess puncher her own head. "Sorry… I almost let it slip."

"That was close!" Koyuki wiped imaginary sweat from her forehead, while Toki admonished the brown haired princess.

"Don't let it happen again! As much as he knows, we haven't even ever seen his neck, let alone his…"

--

"Ahhh! I really had to go!" Naruto washed his hands while hearing the W.C. flushing behind him. He got out of the bathroom and stretched. "Hmmm… Who knows when we will arrive…" He walked a bit and then stopped in front of a large window of the train, leaning towards it. He observed the sea, the horizon's line, passing by quickly, the light enveloping the waters and reddening it… "Ahh… What a nice sight…"

"Guess who!" Suddenly, Naruto's sight was denied to him by a pair of hands over his eyes.

"Ehm…" Naruto sweatdropped. He didn't pay much attention to the voice, since it had caught him by surprise… The only thing he was sure of was that she was a girl. "Some hints?"

"I have orange hair, I once lived with my clan in the rice country, and you accidentally groped me on our first meeting." The voice was cheerful, and Naruto blushed profusely at the last detail. But it was the detail that made him realize who he was talking to.

"Sasame-chan, you're here too?"

"We have a winner!" The girl let go of Naruto's eyes and when he turned around she embraced him tightly. "I missed you!"

"And I'm happy to find you more cheerful than the last time I saw you, Sasame-chan!" Naruto embraced the girl back, and blushed even more when she suddenly kissed his cheek and latched her hands behind his neck.

"Well, I suppose that your cheerfulness is contagious." The girl smiled at him, still not letting go of his neck. "I was very happy when you dropped by, last year." Naruto scratched the back of his neck. "So? What news do you bring me, blonde genin?"

"Darn… I had almost forgot about that…" Naruto suddenly let his head fall. But it was brought back up by one of Sasame's hand.

"No moping about it. You wouldn't be Naruto anymore, otherwise." Said the girl, giggling and cocking her head to the side. Naruto smiled, but blushed when the girl suddenly started massaging his neck.

"Ehm, Sasame-chan… What about letting go of my neck?"

"Why? You got a girlfriend who could get jealous?" Naruto blushed scarlet at that.

"N-No. I don't have a girlfriend…"

"Then, no problem!" Sasame suddenly embraced him again and snuggled her head in his chest. "Aaaah… Your chest feels so nice…"

"…" Naruto wouldn't be able to get out of that embrace for other five minutes. And thinking about the situation later, he would bet that there was killing intent in the air, coming from behind a corner. It was very similar to Neji's one…

--

Naruto had been really surprised when the island had come into sight. It was much more… Well, luxurious-looking that he thought. He could see high buildings mixed with palms from afar, and the beach looked so beautiful… But the most surprising thing was that the train's arrive station was right below the hotel. And the inside of the hotel was as luxurious as it's outside. Red carpets, marble, golden furniture…

"WOOOW! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE ROOMS!" Exclaimed Ino. She voiced the thoughts of a good part of the group.

"Alright! Everyone from the leaf, gather around here!" Everyone followed the voice of their Hokage, turning to her… And noticing that Jiraiya had appeared out of nowhere. "We will now tell you your division in rooms! Shizune?" The Hokage's attendant opened a scroll that had been given to her by one of the hotel's workers, while Kakashi was holding in his hand a bag full of keys, with numbers written on it.

"When I call your names, come forward. You have been split in groups of four people…" Cheer and high-fives from the crowd. "Not mixed." Many 'Awwwws', 'Tsk' and 'Booo!'. Shizune started calling room numbers and names. "Room 71. Maito Gai, Hatake Kakashi, Sarutobi Asuma, Yamato." Naruto couldn't help but ask himself if the guy had a surname, at this point. "Room 158. Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Choji, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino."

"… Of all the troublesome arrangements… This is the most troublesome."

"I'll try to not eat in the room, Shikamaru."

"If you do, not on my bed!"

"…" Shizune continued after Kakashi handed them their keys.

"Room 165. Aoyama TenTen. Yamanaka Ino. Haruno Sakura. Hyuuga Hinata."

"Just like when we were young, forehead!"

"Then I'll smash you with a pillow just like back in the old days!"

"Room 180. Kiremono Tsubaki. Isaribi. Kurama… Yakumo? And…" Shizune had stopped and then stared at the scroll. "F-Fuuma Sasame?"

The four girls approached Kakashi and took their keys. They observed each other… And smiled at each other.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard about you all." Tsubaki bowed. Yakumo and Isaribi returned the gesture.

"No, you're our elder. Don't bow, please." Said Isaribi. Yakumo nodded.

"Eheheh, no need to be so formal." Sasame just smiled at her new room-mates. Shizune, in the meanwhile, turned to her mentor, and in the arc of three seconds, this conversation took place thanks to their stares.

_Tsunade-sama, are you crazy?! Three out of four people in this last room are… Are after Naruto-kun!_ Shocked stare from Shizune.

_They don't know._ Shrug of shoulders from the Hokage.

_They don't know YET, you mean! When they found out about each other, it will be… It will be…_ Agitated waving of arms from the black-haired woman.

_A huge catfight that would make Jiraiya proud of me__, probably. Why do you think I put Tsubaki with them? If she managed to bear Mizuki…_ Raising of eyebrow from the blonde haired hag. Sigh of defeat from Shizune. The conversation was over. Shizune resumed her reading.

"Room 201…" Shizune raised an eyebrow. Room 201? But wasn't that a… She shrugged. It wasn't that important. "Uzumaki Naruto. Hyuuga Neji. Rock Lee. Sai."

"Yosh!" Incidentally, Lee found himself in range for enveloping all his room-mates in an enormous hug. "We will make some wonderful memories out of this vacation, friends!"

"…" Naruto turned to Neji.

"…" Neji turned to Naruto. They talked with their eyes. They understood each other, a mutual feeling and thought in their brain, like they were connected by a symbiotic link. The message they shared with each other was… _Tonight, eyebrows will meet their end._

After another fifteen minutes, Shizune had finished talking and Kakashi giving the keys. Tsunade took word again.

"Alright! The workers of the hotel will take care of our luggage, so, let's enjoy the buffet! Dining room that way!" Many cheers while the Hokage pointed to her right. Naruto cheered more than the others.

"Yahoo! Let's go! I want to fill myself till I explode!"

"… Always the same idiot, I see."

"…" Naruto halted in his steps before even taking one, and as such did all the Rookie nines plus Gai's team and Sai. They all turned in the direction of the voice… And they saw a very familiar face. Naruto was trembling. He didn't know out of what. "… Sasuke…"

_Continue…_

_In the next chapter…_

After Sasuke's reunion' with his old Konoha companions, it's time for the first day of vacation! What will happen? And more people keep on coming to the island! Stay tuned!


	2. I wanna have fun on the beach

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Yeeeeeeeeeah! People lurved my

**Get low, Naruto! RW!**

**Chapter2: I wanna have… Fun. Fun on the beach.**

Naruto was fought between rage and laughter. While being in front of Sasuke, accompanied by Kabuto, Orochimaru and three other guys that he didn't know, all wearing purple Hawaiian shirts and broadshorts, except for the girl of the group, was a sight to behold or to take pictures of to use as blackmail later… They still were Orochimaru, Sasuke, Kabuto and three random guys. Worst enemies of the leaf… Kabuto was drinking tequila. With the worm… Enemies. Enemies. Enemies. Traitor.

"It's been a while… Naruto." Continued Sasuke, while the air was filled by the noise of Kabuto sucking the tequila trough the straw. Then, he observed around. "… You brought everyone else…"

"… It's not like I brought them. They wanted to come on their own. Vacations, you know…" Naruto took a pause before talking again. "I suppose… You're here for the same reason?"

"…" Sasuke shook his head, in disbelief. "Something like that. But if I knew you would be here, I wouldn't have moved from the Sound." Naruto gripped his punches even tighter, while Sakura observed him with a face that showed sufferance. Orochimaru suddenly chuckled.

"Kukukuku… Sasuke-kun, since you already have your keys, I will leave you to your reunion with your old… Companions. Kabuto…" Kabuto drank some more tequila and then followed Orochimaru upstairs. Sasuke kept on staring at Naruto, and he then turned around.

"I warn you… Don't come near me. I have no intention of passing my month of vacation with you on my tail trying to persuade me to come back to Konoha and talking about my supposed misdeeds." As soon as Sasuke finished talking, Lee took word.

"But Sasuke-kun! What you did was indeed a misdeed! Not youthful at all!" No one sweatdropped at that. Even if Lee's choice of words was… Well, Lee-style, he spoke the truth. Suddenly, the girl with the glasses near Sasuke began to laugh.

"Ahahah… Sasuke-kun, isn't that one of the people who came after you when you ran away, according to the rumours? Bowlcut and all…" Sasuke closed his eyes.

"Yes… Another loser… Like everyone in that group."

"Bastard! How dare you…" Choji was about to jump at his throat, but Shikamaru raised a hand, putting it in front of his face.

"Choji… Remember that fights aren't allowed, here." Choji tsked. But Shikamaru was glaring at Sasuke as well. "And believe me when I say that I find it troublesome."

"Then you shouldn't have tried to come after me at all." Sasuke continued his speech. "Even before defecting, I've never even thought of anyone of you as comrades of friends. The only one was Naruto… But you still risked your lives to come after me…" Sasuke shook his head. "I can't call that anything else but idiocy."

"We went after you because it was a mission, Sasuke." Suddenly, Neji took his word. "But we risked our lives because we thought of you as a comrade… But mainly because Naruto held you in high regards. You're not his only friend."

"… As I said, idiocy." Sasuke turned around and began to walk away, the girl and his other two companions going after him. "If you have time to play house, go and train yourselves. Not that it would make you much good… Especially to you, Naruto."

"AAAAARGH! I'M SO GOING TO BITE YOUR NUTS OFF!" Kiba was about to lunge at Sasuke, but Shino and Hinata held him. Shino shook his head, telling Kiba that it was not allowed. The Inuzuka snorted angrily. Naruto wanted to say something else, but it seemed like the conversation was over, for Sasuke… But suddenly, two people passed the little crowd and approached him. One of the two individuals tapped Sasuke on the right shoulder. Sasuke turned around… And he got a vicious hook to the face that sent him flying in the wall on the other end of the hall.

"S-Sasuke-kun! How dare you…" The glasses girl turned around along with Sasuke's other two companions… Just to almost piss themselves when they met the gaze of two pretty pissed off girls, one with orange hair and the other with bandages on various parts of her body.

"Sasuke Uchiha, uh?" Isaribi cracked her knuckles.

"How dare YOU talk to Naruto that way…" Sasame wiped the punch she had used to send the Uchiha flying. In the meanwhile, said Uchiha was getting back on his feet, holding his swollen face.

"S-Sasame-chan! Isaribi-neechan! Fights are not…" Naruto got interrupted by a hand on his right shoulder. He turned around. Yakumo. She was holding her sketchbook, a chair and… Gai's stereo?

"We talked with Tsunade-sama. She told us that fights are not allowed as in, ninja fights. Fights that use jutsu." She opened the chair and sat on it. She leaned the sketchbook on her lap before turning on the stereo, making the William Tell overture play in the air. She took back the sketchbook in her hands. "Fight as in 'Beating him to a bloody pulp' are allowed. Just don't use chakra."

"…" Sasuke swallowed. He suddenly felt something that felt very much like impeding doom. Like his mother in one of her bad days when he destroyed one of her black laced bra while practicing Katon. Naruto had sported a very devious grin on his face.

"You see, Sasuke… Since I can't bring you back, for now… We have at least to relieve some frustration…" The girls decided to let the guys do the work. They sat beside Yakumo. "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" While the guys exacted rightful revenge on Sasuke under the terrorized gazes of his companions and the cheerful ones of the other girls, Sakura apart, Sasame was still wiping her punch. Isaribi raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you still wiping that?"

"I don't want to catch the Emo. Yuck!" Sasame began to wipe with renewed vigor. Everything was happening under the gazes of Orochimaru and Kabuto, who were observing from above.

"Should we help him, Orochimaru-sama?" Said Kabuto, taking another sip of his worm tequila immediately after.

"As much as we should… I found this extremely entertaining." Commented Orochimaru. Kabuto nodded in understanding.

"Yeah… Young boys beating the crap out of each other… Well, eight boys beating the crap out of Sasuke-kun, actually."

--

"Wow. Four beds and we still have space." This was the first comment made by Sakura after pulling up her covers. The room was really spacious, and as luxurious as the atrium. And the view was very nice.

"Yeah… And I can't wait for tomorrow morning for showing my swimming suits around!" Said Ino.

"Eh. And I bet that Kiba can't wait as well. Because he wants to see a bit more of Hinata's D-cup." Said TenTen, smirking while groping the Hyuuga heiress from behind.

"T-Tenten-san!!" While Ino and Sakura giggled, the shy Hyuuga heiress blushed and covered her chest with her arms. TenTen giggled some more.

"You're going to be a killer sight on the beach, Hinata!" The weapon mistress gave her a thumbs up… Then, she let herself fall on the bed, and turned to Sakura and Ino on the other side of the room. "By the way… How do you feel about Sasuke, you two?"

"I couldn't care less. That bastard lost every opportunity he had with me the moment he defected Konoha and made Choji almost lose his life because he wanted to bring him back. He can burn in hell for all I care." Said Ino, stoic. Sakura lowered her gaze. "But it's not Sakura's case. She was… And still is in love with Sasuke."

"… Is that true, Sakura?" Asked TenTen.

"… I don't know… Probably." She replied. The other two girls just sighed and let their heads fall on the cushions.

"Love isn't something that you can command…" Commented Tenten.

"Yep. Otherwise Naruto would have left Sakura alone a loooooooooooooong time ago, after all those punches and beatings he got from forehead girl…"

"Ehm…" Sakura blushed a little. "W-Well, he deserved them…" When everyone in the room raised an eyebrow at her, Sakura blushed out of embarrassment even more. "W-What?"

"Girl, you're probably nuts. Naruto hasn't been nothing but nice to you the whole time. From what I've heard from him, you've always beaten him into the ground for nothing to little reason all the time." Said TenTen. Ino nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. I mean, she should have kissed the ground he walked on just for liking her…" Ino smirked. "With that forehead and flat chest." Said forehead twitched and Sakura became enraged.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?! WANNA FIGHT!"

"YEAH! PILLOW FIGHT!" Said Hinata. Yes. Hinata. And before any of the other girls could ask her anything she jumped towards Sakura and dropped a very hard pillow smash on the girl. So much that the floor under the bed cracked, and Sakura passed out on the bed.

"H-HINATA! WASN'T THAT A LITTLE TOO MUCH?!"

"S-Sorry…" Said the shy violet-haired girl, while her inner self…

**Inner Hinata: TAKE THAT, BITCH! THIS IS FOR NARUTO!**

--

"I don't believe my own eyes…"

"Neither can I. Not even my Byakugan can find anything that can explain… This."

"Curious."

Naruto, Neji and Sai were holding three kunais… Completely destroyed. It seems that while Lee was just human, his eyebrows were somewhat Kryptonian, it seemed. they had resisted the assault of every object they had used. Sai wasn't interested at first, but he had joined when the shurikens they were using snapped in half. Naruto threw his hands up in frustration.

"Uhm… BAH! Let's get some sleep! We'll try again tomorrow. With scissors, this time." Said Naruto, dropping down from Lee's bed… He then took his time to look around. "Hmmm… I still can't understand why… We got such a room." Such a room as in: a deluxe room. It was large four times one of the others. It was more like an apartment. There was the main atrium, that looked more like a living room, and then four doors leading to four other rooms, each one with a bedroom and a bathroom inside. A matrimonial bed. Naruto just shrugged. "I guess we were lucky…"

"…" Neji stared at Naruto… He didn't know why, but he felt like that the fact that he, Lee and Sai were in that room was somehow connected to the fact that Naruto was their roommate.

--

"Mmmmhmhm… Mhmhmh…" Isaribi was humming a song while putting back on her bandages. While she was doing so, she heard a knock on the door.

"Isaribi-chan, are you alright in there?!" The voice belonged to a worried Sasame. Isaribi sweatdropped. "It's been more than 30 minutes! Are you sick or something?!"

"N-No! Sorry, I'm coming out!" Isaribi, flushing, adjusted the last of her bandages and walked out the door. She immediately felt the stares of her roommates on her, making her flush even more. "S-Sorry. I had to put my bandages back in place, after the shower…"

"Uh? You're going to wear them even in bed?" Asked Yakumo, distracting herself from her sketching. Isaribi's gaze fell to the ground.

"Well… You see…" Now, what to say? Fortunately, Tsubaki had been instructed by the Hokage about that situation, in case it came up.

"Isaribi-san has recently undergone a certain kind of surgery." Isaribi raised her head again. The three younger girls were now focusing on her speech. "The aftermath of the operation… Well, let's say that she's changing the first layer of skin. And it's not something that you like to show, right?"

"Yes…" Isaribi scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, looking at the ground again. "Almost everyone who saw my skin under the bandages was frightened… Seeing it fall apart little by little would be even more gross, I suppose…" A giggle made her flush. She needed to change the subject. "Well, if I sleep with the bandages… Are you going to sleep with that cap, Sasame? It looks pretty warm. In this environment…"

"Uh?" Sasame blinked at the sudden question. Isaribi had noticed that the girl had changed out of her clothes and into her two pieces pyjama. A sleeveless shirt and shorts. But she had kept the violet cap she was wearing. She suddenly grinned, picked it up, and hugged it to her chest. "Naah… I'm just going to snuggle against it all night long while I sleep!" The orange haired girl let out a giggle right after it. Yakumo chuckled.

"Is it… A gift from someone? Your boyfriend, maybe?" She asked. Sasame chuckled and shook her head.

"He's not my boyfriend… Yet." She giggled some more. "But I have some plans for this vacation to change the situation."

"You mean he's here as well?" Isaribi asked, blinking owlishly. Sasame nodded, still snuggling against the hat. Isaribi grinned and sat on her bed cross-legged. "Who he is?"

"He's…" Sasame was about to spill the beans… But she then decided otherwise, sticking out her tongue at her roommates. Saving the island's peace for some more time. "No, I won't tell you!"

"Aaah, you tease…" Isaribi stuck her tongue out at the Fuuma girl as well. She turned to Yakumo. "What about you, Yakumo? Do you like anyone in the group from Konoha?"

"…" Yakumo blushed and then nodded, clutching tightly the sketchbook.

"Aaaaaaaaah! We all have someone we like! Incredible!" Isaribi said, letting herself fall on her back on the bed. She waited some seconds, then she raised her head a little. "Aren't you going to ask?"

"Are you going to tell?"

"No." Isaribi found herself exposing her tongue a lot, that day. She then turned her head to the older girl. "What about you, Tsubaki-senpai? Do you have anyone you like?"

"N-Not currently…" Tsubaki dismissed the question by waving her hand in front of her face. She still didn't feel at ease while talking of her love life… Probably because it was nonexistent.

"Then… How would you like your man to be?" Yakumo voiced the question. Tsubaki bit her lip, but she guessed she couldn't hurt to answer that question.

"Hmmm…" Sasame leaned her head on her hands, laying on her stomach upon her bed, seeing that the older girl was about to spill the beans. "Well… Kind, caring… He should make me laugh… Be brave, and strong… I don't mind him being stronger than me… Maybe a little clueless. I always found those kind of guys cute. And… Let's throw in tall and really cute as well." Said Tsubaki giggling. The other girls smiled, each one for their own reason… And curiously, it was the same. The older girl sighed, dreamingly. "I wish such a guy existed…"

"He does."

"He does."

"He does."

"?" Tsubaki and everyone else in the room had suddenly blinked and began to look around, from a room-mate to another. The three younger girls had said the same identical words at the same identical time, in perfect synchronism. For that evening, the subject 'boys' was dropped. They themselves didn't know why… But they felt that that topic of conversation needed to be dropped.

--

"Hmmmm… The smell of the sea water so early in the morning is a wonderful thing…" Naruto inhaled the air around himself, taking everything in. The beach was beautiful. Fine, white sand… Blue sea with some aquamarine spots here and there, and completely transparent on the shore lots of people, some topless girls that made Lee pass out… Yeah. It really was to be a great day.

"Alright, everyone! Gather here for this last briefing!" Everyone turned to Tsunade again, and many blushed. The pareo she was wearing was see-trough. Her chest was something to behold, in that bikini. "This will be one the last briefings of this vacation! From now on, there are no more grades to respect of everything as long as we stay on this island! You're on your own, from now on! Of course, there are some special occasions that will need my guidance, in the future, but that will be later! From now… Do what you want! Get drunk, hit on girls, get hit by girls… I don't care! The Hokage takes a vacation as well!"

"You rock, baa-chan!" Many people clapped… And then Naruto grinned. "Everyone! Race to the water! On the count of three… Three!" And surprisingly, almost everyone from Konoha listened to Naruto, and the whole group splashed into the water as one man. Tsunade chuckled at the sight.

"It has the charisma of a great leader… Well, at least on a beach." She then turned to her tan-pals. Anko, Shizune, Kurenai and Tsubaki. "Let's get you changed out of those clothes, ladies! We have a beach to mesmerize!"

"Hokage-sama, I will follow you to the end of the world!" Anko bowed to her Hokage as the most devoted religious, while the elder woman laughed maliciously. In the meanwhile Naruto was getting out of the water, shaking his head to get rid of most of the water.

"Brrr! It's cold!" But suddenly, someone blocked the sun. Naruto raised his head.

"Hey, refrain from stunts like that, in the future, brat. Even if it looked hella fun, you could bother other people." He said. Naruto grinned.

"Alright! Don't worry, blue… Blue?" Naruto blinked once. Then twice. The guy in front of him was blue, indeed. He was blue. And he had gills… And sunglasses… And darker blue hair… And shark teeth… He screamed and jumped back pointing his finger at him. And not because he was wearing a Speedo. In front of him was standing Hoshigaki Kisame. "W-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WHY?! HOW?! WHEN?!" The missing nin just grinned in response.

"Eh, I'm glad you asked! You see…"

"We will be your hosts for the duration of your vacation." Naruto turned to the right and screamed again, shifting his pointing from Kisame to a red-broadshorts wearing…

"UCHIHA ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Sasuke screamed at his older brother, his voice coming out muffled and distorted because of the mess that his face currently was. Naruto sweatdropped.

"How the hell did you manage to get here so fast?" Naruto asked to his rival/friend/etc… But Sasuke ignored him in favour of menacing his brother.

"Today is the day you die!" He shouted. Itachi just shook his head.

"Foolish little brother…" Itachi raised his right index and middle fingers. "First, jutsus are not allowed here. How do you think of defeating me just with taijutsu?" Sasuke tried to say something, but his mouth just stayed open without a sound coming out of it. "Second, and more important, me and the other members of Akatsuki are the hosts of this vacation, as I have just said. So…" Itachi suddenly poked Sasuke in the forehead, while the younger Uchiha stared at him in shock… Especially when he suddenly smiled. Not a vicious, cruel smile… It was one of those genuine smiles that he stopped showing around that night. "Be sure to have fun with all the things we will organize, dear foolish little brother." It was more than Sasuke could take.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!" And with that, Sasuke was away, leaving a snickering Kisame, a still smiling Itachi and a sweatdropping Naruto. The latter of the three suddenly turned to his… 'Hosts' again.

"I don't know what's more disturbing. The fact that he screams like a girl… Or the fact that you freaked him out just by smiling." Maybe the smile, since Itachi was smiling at him as well, in that moment.

"If I know my foolish little brother, and I know him, he will probably sulk in some corner about the fact that he will not be able to kill me for one month even if I'm the nearest I've ever been in years to him and then plan something to do it the same." Itachi had leaned a hand on Naruto's right shoulder, while saying this. Freaking him even more out.

"… No Bijuu hunting?"

"That would take time for our work, other than being against the rules." Joked Kisame, laughing out loud. Itachi retracted the hand and kept on smiling.

"Come on, Kisame. We have our briefing. I'll see you around, Naruto-kun."

"…" Naruto couldn't do anything but stare at the retreating form of the two missing nins, blinking and staring. "Iiiiiii… Think I will take a bath and then clear my head off while sleeping on my inflatable airbed…"

--

"Everything's here?"

"Yeah."

"Even those who died and got resurrected via plot no jutsu and smashing of the fourth wall?"

"Akasuna no Sasori at your service."

"Good." When Itachi and Kisame had said briefing, they were not joking. All the Akatsuki members, including the dead ones, were standing in a circle, all wearing the same t-shirt. Red with a black cloud on the right side of the chest. And a writing on the back of the t-shirt. 'Akatsuki: Bringin' Sexy Back and Fun… For now.'. Pein was going to assign to each member his main assignment. "Alright… First, Kisame and Konan. You will be our lifeguards."

"Leave that to me!" Kisame gave the head of the Akatsuki a thumbs up and grinned. Konan suddenly raised her hand.

"Yes, Konan?"

"Pein, I can't swim." She said without making her voice change in tone or volume. Absolutely monotone.

"I know. You're not really supposed to save anyone. Since you're the only female of the group, you're supposed to be the eye-candy for the beach-dwellers. Like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch." Replied Pein in the same way.

"Ah." Konan nodded and began to walk away, followed by Kisame.

"Deidara, Sasori. You will organize the weekly theatrical representations and Wednesday shows. That will include forc… Black-mai… Persuading our guests to take part in it."

"Musical."

"Recital."

"MUSICAL."

"RECITAL."

This was the bickering that followed the two artists' walking away.

"Kazuku, Hidan. You will take care of repairs. That includes eventual injured people."

"Do I get paid?"

"Greedy fucker. You're on a fucking island having a free vacation and you just got the easiest work, since all the fuckers here are ninja not allowed to fight. How the fuck are they going to hurt their fucking selves?"

"Hidan, drop the F word a little." Pein scrolled down on his tablet with the pen he was holding in his right hand. "Zetsu and Tobi… You will take care of security. This because Zetsu can't get out of his 'outer body'. So, a work that requires him to stay hidden is suitable."

"Yeah! Tobi will protect everyone in the island! Super Hero!"

"**A good chance to sell some weed…** Stop saying that. Let's go peeping, instead."

"And finally, me and Itachi will take care of the sports and the music. Dismissed…" Pein looked around… Dismissed wasn't necessary, it seemed, since everyone but him and Itachi had already gone to his assigned place. And Itachi was walking towards the DJ's little gazebo already.

--

"Are you done, Anko?" Asked Kurenai from the outside of the changing room. The older Kunoichis were changing. Kurenai had opted for a red bikini, Shizune for a one-piece blue swimming suit, Tsunade opted for a green bikini with special reinforcements ( to sustain the excessive weight ). Now only Anko was left.

"One moment… Done. MORTALS, ADMIRE ME!" Anko opened the door of the changing room.

"! A-ANKO-SAN! THAT IS TOO MUCH!" Too much indeed. For the males, at least. The moment Anko opened the door, all the males in the radius of sight-seeing of the changing room fainted due to a heavy blood-loss. Anko had opened the door with her back facing it, showing to the world her black G-String.

"Not at all, Shizune. It's you that is too less!" Anko pointed to Shizune, and the blushing girl looked around. Tsunade and Kurenai were nodding, agreeing with Anko. "I mean, you have a great body! You should at least TRY to show it! Good thing I brought a bikini as well!"

"EH?! WAIT!" Anko began to pull her towards the changing room. And suddenly… Tsunade began to push her inside. "NOT YOU TOO, TSUNADE-SAMA! KURENAI-SAN, HELP!" Pushed inside. Door closed. "WHAT HELL IS THIS?! A SILVER-COLOURED FUDONSHI?! NO! AH, DON'T TOUCH THERE! NO! AAAAH! IT TICKLES! CRAZY! THIS IS PLAIN CRAZY! NO! THAT'S A SENSITIVE SPOT! NO! AAAAAAAAAAH!"

And all the males in a hearing range blushed, imagining the scene in the changing room. And all those who had a girlfriend got bashed, of course. In the meanwhile, Kurenai sighed shaking her head and approached the other girl of their group. Tsubaki. The Genjutsu specialist sat beside her younger comrade. Tsubaki had restarted her life as a shinobi just recently, after the whole Mizuki incident. She said that she wanted to atone for his sins in his place… She shook her head. Such an angel… How the hell did such a girl ever like someone like Mizuki was beyond her comprehension.

"What are you thinking about? You seem a bit depressed…" Tsubaki sighed. She knew that she had that question coming. Especially from her red-eyed senpai.

"Nothing much… Last evening, the three younger girls that I've been place in room with… Well, they started talking about their loves, their crushes…"

"And it made you think about your one as well, didn't it?" Tsubaki buried her face in the towel she was laying on. Kurenai shook her head. The poor girl… She was shy, and the fact that she had protected Mizuki hadn't helped her situation with the male population of Konoha. She had had very few dates, ever since the case of the prison break. "It's difficult to find a good guy, nowadays… I was fortunate to find Asuma…"

"Yeah…" Tsubaki still had her face buried in the towel, and Kurenai sighed.

"But it's not impossible… You yourself know a pretty good guy, you know?" Tsubaki raised her head looking at her senpai in disbelief. Who was she talking about? Kurenai smirked. "Come on, think about it… It was with you even when you recaptured Mizuki… Brave, strong… Maybe a bit dense, but cute… Spiky… Caring, forgiving… A couple of years of difference, but… Really cute."

"…" Tsubaki raised an eyebrow… Then the other one as well, her eyes widening in surprise. Kurenai was really talking about… Of course. How did she miss it? "Y-You really think it could work, between the two of us?"

"I'm sure of it. I say go for it, girl." Kurenai grinned at her younger comrade, who suddenly smiled at her and grabbed her hands.

"Thanks, senpai… I think I would have stayed in the shadows, if it wasn't for your advice…"

"Oh, it was nothing. Just…"

"As you said, I'm going to try my best with Naruto-san." Kurenai felt her jaw hit the ground so hard that it dislocated itself, while her eyes emulated the size and shape of volleyballs. Tsubaki got back on her feet and bowed. "I'll go search for him right now! Excuse me!"

"…" Kurenai was so shocked that she couldn't do anything else but stare while Tsubaki walked away, humming like a love-struck schoolgirl. She recovered just while she wasn't in sight anymore. "I was… I was talking about Iruka…" She turned to the right and saw Shizune staring at her shocked, not minding anymore her bikini, Tsunade looking at her amused, Anko grinning while giving her a thumbs up, and Jiraiya bowing to her.

"I bow to you, Kurenai Yuuhi, trainer of shotacons…" Said Jiraiya. Kurenai let her head fall forward. She really felt like meeting the sand face to face, all of a sudden.

--

"Come on, Naruto! We're going to play with the ball!"

"Not right now, thanks… My brain is still shut off…" Indeed it was. Naruto had been laying face down on his airbed ever since his meeting with Itachi Uchiha. Sasame huffed at him.

"You're no fun at all…" She pouted. Isaribi swam to them.

"If someone who wanted to capture you to make you die in horrible pains suddenly started being nice, smiling and aniki-like, you would be freaked out too. Leave him alone." Said the bandaged-girl, while silently cursing Itachi. _IBecause of you, Naruto has been so stranged out that he hasn't looked at me in a swimsuit yet, like he so looked forward to…/I_

"Hmmm… Alright. But I want to see you later, alright?!" Sasame took a hold of Naruto's airbed, pulled herself out of the water and kissed Naruto on the left cheek, before swimming away. Isaribi flinched at that gesture… But shrugged it off as the girl just being friendly and cheerful like usual. She swam after her.

Naruto shifted in his laying, and turned on his back. Sasame's kiss had waked him up a little. He sat on his airbed.

"And this is only the first day…" Suddenly, he heard some music and a voice coming from the beach. Some kind of speaker.

**Good morning. DJ Weasel and DJ Pierce are going to to keep you company for the whole morning.**

"…" Naruto held his stomach. It hurt so much because of the amount of laughter that was about to come out. "AHAHAHAH! WHAT KIND OF NAMES ARE THOSE?! AHAHAHAH!"

**Every day we will have a theme song that will be played at the beginning of every hour of the day. Here's today's song. Enjoy.**

_Oh we oh we oh - da girl them, da girl them, da girl them ho!  
Oh we oh we oh - come on there's a party tonight_

While the music began to play, Naruto wiped away the tears in his eyes.

"Oh, well... I guess they will really be our hosts." He focused on the music, closing his eyes. It had a nice sound...

_Real and crucial people!  
Original king lover talkin' upon the microphone  
Yes me come like al capone_

"Hmm... They know their songs... It has a really nice tune..."

_And me sing:I wanna have sex on the beach_

_Come on move your body..._

Not having ground around, Naruto made hsi face impale the water in front of his airbed, raising liters of the thing in the air, almost suffucating himself in the process. When he raised his head back up, spitting out the salted water...

"W-W-WHAT THE HELL?! DID ITACHI TOOK LESSONS FROM ERO-SENNIN OR WHAT?! Uh?" Naruto heard the water move under him and something go 'pop'... And suddenly, he starter moving foward at high speed along with his airbed. "W-W-W-WHAT THE HELL?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The scene was osberved by a sniggering individual with pointy teeth, who was still holding in his mouth some plastic, that he promptly spit out... After receiving a sand to the back of the head.

"OUCH!"

"SUIGETSU! STOP BITING OFF EVERYONE'S AIRBEDS, FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

--

"NO! I'M NOT COMING OUT!" The voice of Hinata came from inside a changing room.

"Come on, Hinata! Don't be stupid!" Said TenTen, sighing.

"NOO! THERE'S NO WAY I'M COMING OUT IN THIS… THIS… THIS THING!"

"JESUS, HINATA! IT'S JUST A BIKINI!" Screamed Ino. She had an half idea of destroying the door and forcing Hinata to come out. But suddenly, a voice from behind them…

"… Are you Sakura-san?"

"Uh?" Everyone turned around, since the voice felt somewhat familiar… The pink-haired girl then stared at the individual that had just appeared in front of them for a bit… Before screaming in fear. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

--

"Aaaaaaah…" The airbed had propelled Naruto towards a small rocky island with a cave on it, far circa five kilometres from the shore… But it never reached it. It hit a rock before it, making Naruto fly inside the little cave. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OUCH! MMMMPH!"

Naruto ended on the ground face first, and made some meters before halting in front of… A pair of knees? He raised his head… And he found himself face to face with a blue haired woman, wearing a very tight red one-piece and a flower in her hair.

"…" She stared.

"…" He stared.

"… Your airbed broke as well and you got propelled in here as well?" Naruto nodded. "Name?"

"Uzumaki Naruto." Replied Naruto before sitting on his knees as well.

_The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki… _"Konan. Your lifeguard. Uzumaki Naruto, we're currently… Stranded."

"… WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

_Continue…_

_In the next chapter…_

Naruto is stranded with Akatsuki's only female member on a rock in the middle of the sea! What will happen?! Will Kisame notice?! Will they survive?! Stay tuned!

Note:

From the next chapter onwards… The fic will turn M-Rated. :P Expect lime.


	3. The Rock Island incident

BGet low, Naruto

Beta Reader's notes: I've bolded some words and phrases that I've rewritten for flow and accuracy. They won't be too much, but it's for a smooth read. Other things may be bracketed to explain and emphasize things, like a character's mode of speech or action. I may also bracket anything to the side of stuff you've already put in bold, italics, or underlined. On a side note, this is probably the first time I've ever had to check to make sure a heavy lime/light lemon scene was grammatically correct and properly spelled.

**Get low, Naruto! RW!**

**Chapter3: The Rock island incident**

"Stranded?! What do you mean stranded?!"

"I can't swim. And I don't think you can swim five kilometres to the shore. While carrying me, on top of that." Naruto looked at her like she had two heads and one of the heads was a pig head.

"Let me get this straight… You're a lifeguard but you can't SWIM?!" Naruto just had to ask that way. The harsh way. Konan… Just nodded. Naruto felt his head tilt towards the ground. "Well, I'll give you credit for being able to keep a straight face while affirming it…"

"…" Naruto heard a sniffle. And panicked. The face of the woman had not changed one bit, but he was sure he had heard a sniffle.

"Ehm, but I'm sure that you make up for it with lots of other things!" Naruto tried to cheer her up… Only to hear another sniffle while her face didn't even flinch.

"Yeah… Like my breasts." Naruto blushed at that. "That's what he said. 'You're not supposed to save anyone. You're just supposed to be eye-candy like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch.'. That bastard can do wonders to one's self-esteem, I guess."

_Alright. Change conversation. Now._ "Well, any ideas as how to get away from here?" A good change of argument indeed. The girl just shook her head.

"We can't use chakra, otherwise we could have walked back to the beach or used some other kind of technique." Naruto sighed. He so would have liked to make a bridge of Kage Bunshins from there to the shore to walk on. It would have been an awesome sight. "So… I guess our best choice is to wait here for Kisame to notice that I'm missing and come search for me."

"I suppose…" Naruto blinked. "Nee-chan… You're with Akatsuki as well?" She nodded. Naruto sighed and let himself fall to the ground with a groan. "Aaaah… What a mess… I'm already getting bored…"

Konan didn't move but couldn't help but silently agree. It really was a mess… And she was getting bored as well. She could just hope that Kisame didn't take much time before noticing she was gone…

--

"Hey! Aren't you that chick who has sex with missing nins from Kiri?!"

"No?"

"Wanna become one?" Slap.

--

"Come on, Sasuke… Come back to the beach…"

"Noooooooo… I must… Thiiiiiiiiiink…" Itachi had hit the bull's-eye. Sasuke was currently sulking in a corner while biting his fingernails, closed inside his room with closed windows and lights turned off. To the point that when Karin tried to turn them on, he had hissed at her. Yep. Hissed. _Alright… I must calm down… Itachi is here… And I __can't__ attack him… So that means that I can't kill him… Oh, well. It's just one month… It's not… That much of a deal… … … ARGH! IT IS THAT MUCH OF A DEAL! I HATE THIS! I HATEHATEHATE THIS SITUATION! …_ "… Karin."

"Y-Yes?"

"… How do you kill someone without attacking him directly?" That question, frankly, didn't surprise Karin at all.

"Well…"

--

"Awww… Where the hell has Naruto gone to?" Sasame voiced the concern of her roommates and of three princesses while they were having lunch. "He's been gone for the entire morning… Where has he disappeared to?"

"… Maybe he got in some trouble? He seems like the kind of person that attracts it easily…" Tsubaki played with the food in her plate absentmindedly. She hadn't even caught a glimpse of Naruto for the whole morning. And to think that she was so eager about talking to him… Isaribi huffed as well.

"I don't know… But to miss lunch, something has to have happened…" She then chuckled. "Naruto loves food… And I just can't understand how he manages to not get fat …"

"He's probably got a high metabolism or something like that." Sasame grinned. "I remember last time he came to my house. We went to a festival and he filled his stomach with so much food that the stand' owner was crying."

"Uh?" Now, that caught Isaribi's attention. Her and Naruto? Her house? A festival? And the kiss on the cheek of that morning came to her mind… "Sasame, how did you meet Naruto?"

"Well, he… Uh?" Sasame stopped talking because she had noticed that Yakumo had her face downcast and she was currently getting up from her seat. "Y-Yakumo-chan? Where are you going?"

"… Searching for Naruto. I… I have a bad feeling about this…" She said, in a nervous voice. Tsubaki put a hand on her left shoulder.

"What do you mean a bad feeling, Yakumo-san?" Yakumo kept on being silent for a few seconds before talking again.

"A guy of 16 years old… On a beach during summer, full of girls…" At those words, the eyes of everyone at the table widened.

"Y-You don't mean…"

**UHaving a good lunch? DJ Weasel keeps you company along with these songs. Here's one of my personal favourites…/U**

_USummer loving had me a blast  
Summer loving happened so fast/U_

"…" The four roommates hurried out of the door so fast that they left dust behind them even if the floor was so clean that there literally were people eating off it. All this happened under the stares of the three princesses, who chuckled at the younger girls' plus Tsubaki's behaviour.

"Eheheh… So funny." Said Koyuki, eating some more of her food. "They don't really know Naruto, then, if they suspect something like that…"

"Yeah." Toki giggled behind her hand. "Naruto is so inexperienced that he doesn't notice girls coming after him. He trying to hit on girls? Impossible…"

"But that makes him all the more…" Haruna was about to extol Naruto's cute behaviour further … When she suddenly froze. Something had occurred to her. "… Wait a minute. Maybe they… They weren't worried about him…"

"Eh?" Koyuki and Toki stopped eating and turned to Haruna, who was trembling.

"Maybe… They were worried about… Everyone else…" Koyuki flinched while Toki swallowed.

"Ehm… Come on, if that was the case, Naruto would freak out and run away." Said Koyuki, trying to reassure her peer.

"Koyuki's right. That's the reason why we still haven't carried out our plan for a foursome… He would freak out with one girl, figures with three…" Toki said, agreeing to Koyuki, but getting nervous herself.

"Yes, but…" Haruna was sweating. She swallowed. "What if… He's in a situation where he can't run away?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

The three princesses joined to search for the disappeared blonde.

--

"Clock."

"Kiwi."

"Indaco."

"Orango."

"Orange."

"Elephant."

"Takoyaki."

"AAAAAARGH! I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TO NOT USE NAMES OF FOOD!" Naruto shot back to the ground on his back so hard that he left an imprint in the rock. To fight boredom, the two had started playing the chained words game. But every now and then, the girl said the name of some kind of food, and Naruto ended up on the ground with his stomach roaring. This time the attack lasted some few seconds more than usual. He got back in a sitting position with a disheartened face. "I'm sooooo hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy… WHERE THE HELL IS THAT FISHFACE?!"

--

"Have you ever seen a blue man naked?" Slap.

--

"I suppose he's fooling around." _Note to self. Ask Zetsu for that special sushi recipe. _Suddenly, another growl let itself be heard in the air. But this was of a lower tone and volume. Because it came from her own stomach. Konan lowered her head to observe her own stomach. It was the first time it happened to her. "Curious…"

"Never ever been this hungry, nee-chan?" Naruto's own stomach grumbled in response. "Aaaah… There's nothing to eat here… We could catch some fishes, but we don't have anything to start a fire. Shit…" While Naruto walked in circles while holding her chin, Konan was thinking about the situation with a calmer mind. They could catch fish, but they couldn't cook nor season it. They couldn't start a fire. There wasn't anything to eat, around… Or maybe… There was? She observed her stranding companion…

"… Maybe… I know how to make something to eat." She said. Naruto turned to her.

"Eh?! Really?!" Naruto's attention was completely on the older woman, who nodded. Naruto cheered, feeling pumped. "Great! How?! How?!"

"First… I need to ask you some questions." Naruto nodded and sat in front of the girl. "What's your diet?"

"… Eh?" Naruto blinked. Konan asked again.

"What's your daily diet? What do you usually eat?"

"Hmmm…" Naruto didn't bug her further and began to think about the question. "Well, my favourite meal is ramen, but baa-chan said that I would die if I kept on eating just that. She gave me a diet. I eat meat, fish… And vegetables too! Yuck!" Naruto stuck out his tongue at the thought. "They have such a bad taste… But baachan shoves them down my throat, if I don't eat them myself." Naruto shuddered at the memory. Then, he began to think about the other things. "But I love fruit! I eat lot of oranges, when I can! And cherries… And pineapple! And melon!"

"… Suitable." Konan nodded. It was indeed suitable. If he ate like he had said… "Now, the second question… What kind of virgin are you?"

"… Eh?" Naruto didn't flush immediately, because the question was sudden. But he flushed a lot when he realized what he had just been asked. "W-W-W-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, NEE-CHAN?!"

"… A total virgin." Suddenly, the girl moved. In a flash she did a hand seal… And suddenly, Naruto found his hands and wrists pinned to the ground by… Paper?

"N-Neechan, aren't techniques prohibited or something?"

"No one's here to see us." The girl moved from her kneeing position and approached Naruto on all fours. Naruto was starting to sweat.

"N-Neechan… You're scaring me…" Suddenly… The girl grabbed the superior edge of his broadshorts. Naruto froze. "N-NEECHAN! WHAT THE HELL?!"

"It will not hurt, if that worries you." Konan stopped for the few seconds that she needed to pronounce that sentence, before starting to pull down Naruto's boxers.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU…" Naruto froze when his own cock popped out of his boxers. Konan's eyes widened a little in surprise.

"…" She stared at it a little and then at his face. "How old are you?"

"16! NEE-CHAN, PUT IT BACK IN! IT'S… IT'S EMBARASSING!" Naruto was struggling against his paper restraints, but to no avail.

"… 16 years old and you're… That means…" Konan shook her head slowly. The time for maths would come later. Now she had to focus on the task ahead of her, and the semi-flaccid member in front of her. She moved her right hand and gently grasped it. Naruto gulped in surprise. And gasped in shock when she started moving his skin down with her hand till the head got uncovered. "It has a nice colour…" She then started to move her hand up and down really fast.

Naruto, if it weren't for the strange situation, would have focused more on the fact that the girl was giving him his first handjob. He tried to say something, but the words got stuck in his throat everytime. He just emitted sounds that resembled strangled moans, with his mouth and eyes wide open. Konan stopped when she felt it harden. His member was now fully erect and rock hard, judging by what she was feeling under her hand. She squeezed it lightly earning a clear moan from Naruto.

"…" Suddenly, she moved her head forward and licked the whole thing from under his balls to the tip, making Naruto shiver in pleasure. She then went back to his sack and sucked slowly on it. Naruto was panting and sweating, unable to emit any kind of sound. Konan let go of his balls and observed them. Suddenly, she grabbed them, making Naruto flinch in pleasure again. "… You don't masturbate often…"

"…" Naruto just shook his head from side to side, slowly, to not break eye contact with the girl… But he suddenly had to shot his head up when the girl leaned her lips on the head of his member. "Gak!"

"…" Slowly, but inexorably, Konan slid all of the head of his member in her mouth. She sucked on it a little while caressing it with her tongue. Naruto felt his head so light that he bet that he was going to pass out. And he let out a loud groan when he felt her sliding more of it in her mouth. And he began to shiver and squirm when she started bobbing her head up and down on it.

"Gak… N-Neechan… I feel… I feel strange… Ahhh!"

"…" _He's coming._ Konan decided to finish it there. She slipped it all out but his head and began to suck on it as strong as she could.

"!!" _SHE GOT A VACUUM IN HER MOUTH OR WHAT?!_ "N-NEECHAAAAAN!"

"!" Konan instinctively closed her eyes when he came in her mouth, shooting loads of white sperm that she began to swallow. She didn't expect that much to come out. She almost choked on it, but she was a pro not in techniques only. And it tasted good, like she had foretold. So, she did her best… And in the end, she managed to swallow it all. She licked the head a bit more to clean it and let it go of her mouth with a 'pop'. While Naruto regained his breath, she released him and took out a tissue out of nowhere, and cleaned her mouth. "Thanks for the meal. It tasted good and was nutritionally balanced."

"…" Naruto got back in a sitting position in shock. When the gears in his brain started running again, he asked… "Nee-chan, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!"

"Sperm's and blood's taste is determined by what one eats. Thanks to your diet it tastes really sweet and it was nutritionally balanced and… Oh." Konan put a hand in front of her mouth and Naruto sighed in relief. Maybe she finally realized how weird the situation had been. "I'm sorry… I didn't ask if you wanted some… You see, I love to give head and swallow… I got carried away…"

"…"

--

"For the last time, where's Naruto?"

"For the last time, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!" The girls, after the first minutes of search, had asked for help to the other Konoha ninjas. Neji, Kiba and Sai were currently confronting Kisame about Naruto's whereabouts. You know, if a Jinchuuriki disappears… Ask Akatsuki. Seeing that the guys weren't going to drop the subject, Kisame groaned. "Listen, brats. I've been here all morning flirt… Ehm lifesaving! When the hell have I had the chance to go after your friend?!"

"You tell us."

"Neji."

"Ah, come on! I have an alibi!"

"Can anyone confirm it?"

"Neji."

"Of course! Konan! She… Wait a minute. She's disappeared too!"

"… Are you seriously…"

"Neji!"

"What, Kiba?!" Neji turned to his companion who just pointed to the water. Neji turned to the sea… And then he saw him. A blur of pink, orange (trunks) and blond carrying a blue, pink and red blur above his head. He was running on water… He activated his Byakugan… And gasped. He was running on water… Without using chakra? He was approaching the shore… Screaming?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Naru…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He kept on running away from the water and surpassed them, while dropping the woman he was carrying on Kiba. Yes. On. Neji, Kisame and Sai followed him with their stares till he disappeared. Neji sweatdropped.

"Well… Screaming apart… He seemed in good shape."

"I wonder what could have scared him that much…" Commented Sai. Kisame, sweating turned to Konan. He had a suspect. The blue haired woman just got up from her Kiba-seat… And kicked Kisame in the balls.

"AAAAAAAARGH!"

"That's for not noticing that I have been gone for four hours." She then turned in the direction where the blonde had disappeared, and brought a hand to her lips. _Too bad… I would have gladly taken seconds…_

--

"… Naruto?" Neji knocked on the door of the bathroom where Naruto had hid himself in. He went after Naruto while he left to Kiba and Sai to warn the others that they had found Naruto and that he had been stranded on the rocky island some kilometres away from the shore… He still couldn't believe that he had run for five kilometres on water without using chakra. But the Hyuuga shook his head. No time for that. "Naruto, what happened?"

"… I'm in a bit of a shock right now, Neji."

"You are?" Neji said.

"You would be too if a crazy neechan gave you a blowjob, called your sperm a nutritionally balanced meal and then said that she was sorry for not offering you some…" Neji blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

"…" He fought the instinct. But… It was useless. "Did you…"

"NO!"

"… Not even…"

"NO!"

"… Are…"

"NO!" Naruto slammed open the door. "AND STOP GIVING ME BAD MENTAL IMAGES!"

"…" Neji stared at Naruto… The impulse won. "You…" Neji got punched in the face.

--

"Mission Impossible by the Limp Biskitz? It doesn't look much like a beach song to me, Pein…"

"I just like it." Replied the head of the Akatsuki. Itachi shrugged.

"Do as you wish. I'm going to get something to drink."

"Alright." Pein put on the song while Itachi left the hut, heading for the beach bar. He really needed something to drink. The climate wasn't that hot, but talking in a mic all day long wasn't good for your throat. He leaned on the bar. "Something fresh, please. With lots of ice."

"Coming right now." Said Karin. Yes. Karin. She had taken the waitress' place. Because she and Sasuke had formulated a plan. A plan to kill Itachi Uchiha. That Sasuke was going to enjoy fully from behind the newspaper with holes, behind which he was currently hiding.

_Kukukuku… Uchiha Itachi, your thirst will be your end… It will really be worth having to marry that psycho of Karin to watch you die in atrocious pains… … It will? … … YES! YES IT WILL!_ Sasuke focused on the figure of his future torture… ehm wife that was fixing Itachi an enormous mug of Pepsi. Then, unnoticed by anyone, she slipped something inside it from a little bottle. Three drops of some liquid with even the same colour of the beverage. She turned to the elder Uchiha smiling. "Here you go!" _And the funny thing is that the poison will react instantaneously just once it reaches your stomach! _

"Thanks. The ice… Ah." It was a self-service for ice, it seemed. Itachi took the bowl while Karin turned to Sasuke and gave him a thumbs-up. But… She noticed that Sasuke's eyes suddenly went so wide that they were going trough the holes in the newspaper. "Waitress."

_Something went wrong?! He noticed?! _"Y-Yes… !!"

"There are tentacles in my Pepsi." Karin fell to the ground. Indeed there were. Tentacles were coming out of the mug, lashing and trying to slash at everything around, including Itachi. The Uchiha promptly dropped the mug in the trash. "When you recover, give me some Fanta, this time."

"…" Karin twitched on the ground, thinking about what had could possibly gone wrong… The ice. The poison didn't react with Pepsi, but it reacted with ice. In the meanwhile, Sasuke was destroying the newspaper while cursing his brother.

--

"Ahhh… What a day, what a day…" Naruto couldn't believe what had transpired in just one half of a day. Akatsuki, that crazy neechan, Neji suddenly deciding to be a smartass… He really needed to relax. He picked out a cloth covered package from the backpack he had brought to the beach. He opened it to reveal… An ocarina. An ocarina with a crack, like it had been broken in half… And it had been. Naruto himself had repaired the thing and gave it back to his legitimate possessor… Then, that same person had given it to him as a gift before dieing. Ever since then, he had taken upon him a task. Learn to play the thing. He practiced it every day. He raised his eyes to the sky, observing it. He then smiled and brought it to his lips. "I've learned to play other kind of songs, but… This one is always my favourite one. The one you always played."

Naruto suddenly closed his eyes and began to play the ocarina. This was the song he knew best. After getting the ocarina, he had promised to himself that he would learn that song till he could play it as good as the blonde haired boy that he heard it from first. And when Naruto tells himself to do something… You know the deal. And in the end, he had come to like playing that ocarina. He always felt at ease, while playing it. It helped him calming down. He was so assorted that he didn't hear the two sets of feet hurrying in his direction till he hard a little voice saying…

"Onii-cha… Oh." Naruto interrupted his playing and turned around. The two sets of feet belonged to a girl with short hair and to an older girl who had just reached her. The older girl was out of breath, it seemed.

"Anf… Anf… Fuki, I told you that… Oh?" The girl regained her breath, slowly, and got back in a standing position to observe the young man in front of himself. She brought a hand to her mouth, to cover it. "N-Naruto-san?"

"…" Naruto observed the two girls for a few seconds… Before tilting his head to the right side. "Ehm, who are you again?" The two girls decided that it was a good occasion to meet the ground. The older girl got back on her feet a little enraged with a red bruise on her forehead, mimicked by the younger one.

"N-Naruto-san! Stop joking around!" Naruto let out a little laugh. He got up from where he was sitting and back on his feet, while rubbing the back of his head.

"It was just a joke, Ran-neechan, Fuki-chan."

"That was mean, Naruto-niichan!" Naruto grinned and rubbed the young girl's head, who pouted cutely. Then, she eyed the ocarina he was holding. "I knew it was you… You were playing Menma-niichan's ocarina…"

"I thought she was hearing things…" Chuckled Ran, observing the little girl sticking out her tongue at her. She then smiled at Naruto. "You're here with your village comrades?" Naruto nodded.

"Yeah… And what about you, Ran-neechan? I didn't expect to see you here…" Naruto scratched his chin while asking the question. "I mean it's not like you have a relationship with a ninja village…" Ran shook her head.

"No, we don't. To tell you the truth… We got invited." Naruto blinked. Ran chuckled at his clueless face. "We don't know who it was, but we got invites for this vacation. Me, Fuki and nii-san got one too."

"… Your crossbow bearing freak of a brother is here as well?" Naruto sweatdropped. He really didn't understand how the mind of that guy worked. After the entire thieves thing had settled down, he seemed to have calmed… But each now and then, Naruto had to dodge crossbow bolts for dear life. Like that time he was helping Ran with the laundry, or when she asked him to guard her while she was taking a bath, or when she wanted him to sleep with her because she had had bad dreams… That last one was weird. He could understand Fuki, but Ran? The girl was giggling.

"Don't worry. They took the thing from him when we arrived here. Otherwise, they wouldn't have let him in." Ran chuckled, and the smiled longingly at Naruto. "I must say… It's a surprise to find you here as well, Naruto-kun. A very pleasant one, indeed…" She gave Naruto the warmest smile she had. Naruto blushed instinctively at that. Ran had one of the prettiest smiles he had ever seen… But suddenly, a fork slashed him on the nose, having been launched out of nowhere. Naruto and he girls jumped back… And then frowned. "My brother…"

"I still don't get what's with him… And how the hell can he hide himself so well?"

--

"GET AWAY! GET AWAYYYYYYYYYYY!" In the meanwhile, Sakura… She was still running away. And the person that had sneaked up on her and tried to talk to her that morning was still following her.

"S-Sakura-san! Please stop! It's the tenth time from this morning that I try to talk to you…"

"GO AWAY! YOU'RE JUST A GHOST! A GHOST WHO'S PRETTIER THAN ME! GO AWAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Sakura-san!!" The pursuer suddenly stopped, sighing and placing a hand on her chest. She didn't have Sakura's stamina, it seemed. Stamina originated by fear, but always stamina. "Geez… I understand that seeing me alive is a shocker, but…"

--

"Naruto-san, are you sure you already want to go to sleep? So early?"

"Lee, with all that has happened to me today and all the dinner that I've eaten…" _Well, thanks to Haruna-neechan, Toki-neechan and Koyuki-neechan… They forced me to be fed, basically. And why did Toki-neechan faint when I licked her fingers clean of the rice? It was just a joke…_ "I'm sooo going to bed." Naruto waved behind his back and Lee and the others. While his friends were heading for the main theatre, he was heading back to his room to take a well deserved shower and then go to bed. Lee nodded in understanding.

"I understand, Naruto-san! This day's unexpected events drained you of your youthfulness that needs a good night of rest to replenish!" Neji groaned and began to drag his companion away.

"We'll see you later, Naruto."

"Sleep well." Said Sai. Naruto waved at them and took the elevator ona good one-minute ride to his… house. Yes. What he occupied along with Neji, Sai and Lee wasn't a room. It was a house. He just didn't know how to call it otherwise. He put the key in and opened the door. He immediately took his shirt and dropped his backpack to the ground. He would empty it later. Time for a well-deserved shower.

--

"Please… Stop this… This is… This is torture…"

"SHUT UP AND DANCE… WELL, PUPPET DANCE! IT'S THE SAME! YOU HAVE TO LEAAAAAAAAAAARN THE DANCE!"

--

"Ahhh! I feel reborn!" He really did. It was like the hot water had washed away all the dizziness, but he still felt drowsy and he was so sleepy… Nonetheless, he summoned a Kage Bunshin to help him put away all his things before going to bed. Not because he actually wanted, but Lee had made a fuss just because he had found one of his sandals in the middle of the living room, that morning… After finishing, he opened the door to his bedroom, and without even turning the lights on, he literally threw himself into bed, snuggling his face in his cushion. "Hmmm… Smells so nice… Uh?" He sniffed the cushion… Yeah, it felt nice… Too nice. It wasn't laundry. It was more like… A human scent? "Hmmm… Mah. Some new kind of soap or something, I suppose. Now, where's my plushie?" Yep. A plushie. Naruto had the habit to sleep with a frog plushie. One of the few habits he still had from his childhood. It was a dear gift given to him from the Sandaime.

He began to move his hand around, looking for the softness of the plushie… And he found it. "Gotcha… Uh?" He squeezed it a bit… Strange. "… It's… Softer… And smoother than usual." He squeezed it two more times. "… And… It's round? … Wait a minute. What the…" Before Naruto could inspect further what he really had leaned his hands on, he was literally tackled on the bed and turned so that he was laying on his back. His 'assailant' was currently standing above him, on all fours. Even if it was dark, he could see some of its face… It was familiar. And then it talked…

"I think you owe me a little priestess…"

Naruto's scream wouldn't be heard by anyone.

_Continue…_

_In the next chapter…_

Will Naruto be able to survive this night assault? And what events will the following day bring forward, with the arrival of more ninja countries… And meeting with old friends from the land of dead? Stay tuned!


	4. Shion drops the bomb

BGet low, Naruto

**Get low, Naruto! RW!**

**Chapter4: Shion drops the bomb**

Naruto, forced by the situation he had suddenly found himself into, had analyzed every data that he could gather in that split second of pause. He was currently very tired while his 'opponent' seemed as fresh as dandy as she could be. His opponent was Shion, who was standing above his own body on all fours, smiling at him in a alluring and at the same time scaring way. And Shion was wearing just her panties and a very short (mid-tight), very transparent pink nightdress. So revealing that he could see… _OH KAMI! THAT'S WHAT I TOUCHED, THEN!_ "S-SHION!" He finally gathered willpower to say something. Shion just smiled more at him.

"Hi, Naruto. I find you in good… Shape." While saying this, Shion leaned forward and put her hands on his bare chest, brushing and massaging it. Naruto shivered and panicked.

"I-It's good to see you too… BUT WHY ARE YOU IN MY… MMMPH!" It seemed like the blonde priestess had taken the 'good to see you' bit as approval for whatever she planned. She decided to take it a step further, in fact. She suddenly shot her face forwards, her eyes closed, and planted her lips on Naruto's ones while wrapping her arms around his head. And since Naruto was talking, she took the opportunity to slip inside his mouth the snake that she called her tongue. Thinking about it later, how the hell could a priestess be so experienced with kissing? But at the moment, Naruto's brain had shut off. The light movements and brushes of her tongue were too much for him. And when she got rough, with her hands moving trough his hair and her tongue suddenly turning into something between a snake and an octopus, it got even worse… He started kissing back. And he even began straddling her back. He got back to his sense only when his air began to run out. He began to trash, but Shion still wasn't finished. When she finally let go, leaving a trail of saliva between their two mouths, she let out a dreamily moan while Naruto gasped for air.

"Aaaah… This is exactly like I have always dreamed my first kiss to be…" She said while holding her flushed face with one hand. Meanwhile**,** Naruto went into 'What the fuck' mode.

"F-FIRST KISS?! YOU GAVE ME A HARD ON AND IT WAS THE… … Shit." Naruto just knew he had done a big, big, big error. Shion had made a surprised face… For two seconds. Right after, a mischievous grin made way to her face. She leaned on Naruto again. She traced circles on his bare chest with her left index finger.

"Reaaaally? I'm probably a natural, then… If just by kissing I managed to gave you…" She moved her left hand more down… and suddenly grasped hard Naruto's member. "This!"

"S-Shion!! Stop teasing me, please!" Naruto was using a begging voice. He just didn't have the strength to react, at that point. Shion's face turned to a surprised one for a second, before giving him a warm smile.

"I understand. Sorry, Naruto." Naruto sighed in relief. "Shall we get to the main course immediately, then?" 'WTF' mode was back on. Shion grinnedasshe grasped his boxers with both her hands and… The door to the living room opened.

"Naruto-san! We're back!" At the sound of the voice, both the blondes turned theirheads towards the door of Naruto's room.

"!!" _Lee! I'm safe, but…_ He immediately raised the covers of his bed. "Get under the covers! Hide!"

"A-Alright." She didn't know exactly why but Shion complied, hiding under the covers. Naruto covered her just in time. Lee opened the door right after.

"Hey, Lee! How was the… Whatever it was?" Naruto asked. Lee… Looked shocked and tired.

"It was HORRIBLE, Naruto-san! After telling us the resort's weekly programs, those two horrible unyouthful men forced us to dance th-the host's theme! For two hours straight!"

"Really? That seems… AH!" Naruto covered his mouth just in time to lower the volume of the yelp of surprise. It seemed that Shion was not content with how Lee had suddenly barged in their room in the middle of the act, and had slipped one hand inside Naruto's boxers, grasping his penis firmly. Lee blinked.

"What's wrong, Naruto-san?" He asked. Naruto's face became slightly flushed. He silently thanked the Kami that the lights were out and the room was plenty dark.

"It… It's your tale! It really seemed… Unyouthful…" Naruto was talking at pieces because Shion had suddenly started giving him a strangely skilled handjob. Not that he had much to compare it to.

"Understood… Well, I leave you to your sleep, Naruto-san!"

"T-Thanks, Lee! And… Close the door on your way out!!" Lee was a little surprised by Naruto suddenly raising his voice, but nodded and complied. When the eyebrow man was out of the room and inside his own, he quickly threw the covers away. Shion had pulled out his penis from his boxers and was currently handjobbing him with both her hands while lapping at the head furiously. It was an amateurish job to any professional, but she put a lot of effort into it. "S-Shion! Stop before… Before… Oh, god…"

"Mhhh…" Shion sucked slightly on the top of his head without stopping her hands… And suddenly, Naruto let out a loud groan. She was a bit surprised by the sudden shot of… something on her lips. She let go of his head and more shots landed on her face. Four shots total. While Naruto regained his breath, Shion brought a hand to her face and picked up some of the sticky substance from her face, bringing it to her lips and lapping her fingers clean, savouring the taste… "Mmmh! It's sweet!" Naruto jumped out of his bed and put his boxers back on.

"… WHAT'S WITH YOU WOMEN AND MY… AHH! LEAVE IT ALONE! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN MY BED?! AND… SHIT! I GOT THEM ALL STICKY!" Shion giggled at Naruto's antics and then smiled warmly at him. That's what made him so cute.

"Well, I arrived today… And I wanted to surprise you…" Naruto sweatdropped at how innocent she made that thing sound.

"You surprised me right… What was that all about?! The kiss, the… ARGH! I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO SAY IT!" Shion chuckled some more. Naruto was so clueless… But she guessed she had had enough surprises for that night. No need to drop the bomb all at once. She suddenly got off the bed as well and embraced him from behind. Naruto blushed.

"… Can we sleep together like this, tonight? Please?" She asked. Naruto groaned and shook his head.

"Alright… But…" He turned towards her. "Shouldn't you, you know… Wash your face?"

"Ah!"

--

"Hmmm… Uh?" Naruto awoke in his bed… Alone. It seemed that Shion had decided to sneak out before he woke up along with his friends. And the blonde was grateful for that… But he still found a note. He opened it.

_Hey, Naruto._

_Sorry if I upset you last night. I thought you would… I mean… Well, __never mind__. I hope we can spend a lot of time together on this vacation._

_Your lovely Shion _

"…" Naruto smiled. "Eh… She's not a bad girl, after all… Uh? A P.S.?" Naruto read it.

_P.S.: You should probably erase the drawings on your face, though._

"Eh?" Naruto went into his bathroom… And flinched when he saw a bunch of writings on his face, all made with a black eraser. He didn't even bother reading the sentences. He just threw himself under the shower.

--

"… Neji…"

"Yes?"

"Being a genius and all… Ehm…" Naruto looked around, and began to whisper to his Hyuuga friend again. "Could you please explain to me why the atmosphere is… so tense?"

Indeed it was. Naruto could cut it with the fork and knife he was using to cut his pancakes. He could notice killing intent coming from… a lot of people. Most of them were girls, he noticed. Girls he was familiar with. Neji observed his surroundings and then shook his head slowly.

"Not a clue… From the bit of words mumbled under-breath, though… It's something that has happened tonight, while we were forced to dance that… That…" Neji shivered remembering the silly moves and even silliest words. Damn Sasori and his chakra strings…

In the meanwhile, Isaribi was fuming. Fuming like most of the females that knew Naruto sitting at that table. It all had started last night with a new arrival… and the piece of paper that she was currently holding in her right pocket.

--

"I can't believe that… That… That guy was about to get us too!" Sasame held her arms not because of the cold. Even if it was night, it still was quite hot. But she held herself because of the fear. She had seen what the poor guys who had been left behind had been forced to dance. In the end, just few people had managed to escape. Of their group, that included her, Isaribi, Yakumo, Tsubaki, and the three princesses.

"Yeah… I mean… I felt stupider just by looking… Uh?" Isaribi was saying something to agree to what Sasame had just said, but suddenly, she noticed two more voices. In front of them were two girls, around their own age, it seemed. One had long blonde hair and… Violet eyes? And the other dark brown hair, freckles and a somewhat flat chest. Not as flat as that Haruno girl, but still, a B cup. And while the blonde girl was smiling, the freckles girl was trembling, grasping a piece of paper.

"This… This is…" She seemed about to rip it.

"Eheheh… I assure you that… Uh?" The blonde seemed to have noticed that there were people coming. She suddenly gasped, bringing a hand to her mouth. She hurried towards her group and stopped right in front of Isaribi, pointing her right index finger at the dark haired girl. "You are…" She started doing the same with almost every girl of their group… Scratch that. She was pointing at every girl in the group. She suddenly smiled and clapped her hands together. "Wonderful! Almost everyone's here! This greatly sped things up!"

"Everyone who?" Asked Yakumo, blinking at the girl's strange behaviour, while the other girl, the one with the freckles, kept on staring at the paper and then at their group. The blonde one bowed.

"Sorry, I haven't introduced myself yet!" She got back on her feet and pulled something out of her right pocket. Everyone noticed it was a bunch of papers. "My name is Shion! I'm the head priestess of the demon country!" She started handing the papers to everyone she found herself in front of. Sasame was the first to read it, curious… and immediately got puzzled. The title of the paper was 'Participants to the game'. Then, a list of names… Including hers?!

"Ehm…" Sasame raised her hand, on instinct. Shion nodded. "What… What's this list about? What's this game?"

"But of course, the game for Naruto's heart!" Shion replied like it was the most obvious and natural thing in the world, while everyone around her froze. Even the brown haired girl, who had been said the same thing before the others, froze again. Shion pointed her right index finger to Sasame, while winking at her. "And everyone on that list loves Naruto, obviously!"

"!!" Yakumo immediately went and began to read the list. Under the names there were even other kind of details and pictures. Like… Yakumo gasped. "YOU!" She pointed her finger at Koyuki. "You're… YUKIE?! THE ACTRESS?!" Everyone turned in the direction of the princess as well. "YOU'RE BOTH A PRINCESS AND AN ACTRESS?! I MEAN… I EVEN HAVE A POSTER OF YOU! HOW…" Then Yakumo grasped her head. But Tsubaki voiced everyone's thoughts before she did.

"You… You love Naruto-san?" Yukie blushed. Tsubaki read more. "And… What does it mean 'member of the sharing trio'?" At this, Haruna and Toki blushed as well.

_Good thing I asked Yurinoju to teach me some basic ninjutsu…_ Haruna suddenly did a couple of handseals and the three disappeared in a swirl of flowers. Shion chuckled.

"Well, my work is done. I just wanted to inform everyone that they had competition. Tomorrow I'll search for the ones left. Ja ne!" With that, the priestess was away before anyone could ask something. All that remained was a deadly silence, broken just by the wind each now and then. So much that nobody noticed two other presences behind two opposite bushes. A brown haired civilian and a S-Rank missing nin.

--

Isaribi frowned. She just… She didn't think that she would have so much competition. And… She couldn't believe that she was the roommate of three of her rivals. Tsubaki, in the meanwhile… Was thinking about other things. Her younger rivals probably hadn't given it much thought, but… there were many suspicious circumstances.

"…" _From her behaviour, that girl hasn't met anyone of us before yesterday evening… And yet, she knew our names and faces. And on top of that… I was included in the list. But I discovered that I like Naruto-san just… Yesterday morning._ She turned in the direction of said priestess, who was having breakfast with her attendants. _So that means that she has… A helper. Someone in the Konoha group…_ Then Tsubaki had to bit her lip. She had just realized that it could just be one of the Jounin… "Who is that girl?"

"I just received those sheets this morning along with some photos. I don't have any idea who sent it to me."

"Ahhhh!" Tsubaki jumped, hearing Shion's voice just behind her. She turned around while holding her chest. How the hell did she sneak up on her? "… Are you sure you're not a ninja?" She said sighing. Shion chuckled.

"Positive. And like I said, I don't have any idea who sent the sheets to me. They just told me to give one to each of the people on them." Replied the priestess playfully. Tsubaki took a deep breath… And then she stared at her in a contemplative way.

"Still… I don't get why you did as it was told to you." Shion gave her a fake question look. "I mean… this kind of information, in the kind of battle you're looking at… is undoubtedly vital. You could have just destroyed the sheets and be done with it. But… You still did it."

"Eheheh… Correct. And why do you think I did it?" Asked Shion, smiling with her right index finger cocking her head to the side.

"…" Tsubaki was dead serious, by now. "Either you like competition… Or… You're sure of winning." Shion chuckled in reply.

"Sorry, but I'll leave you with that doubt, I think." She then bowed. "You seem like a really nice person, Tsubaki-san. I wouldn't mind getting to know you better."

"…" Tsubaki smiled back, she didn't know herself why. "Same here."

In the meanwhile, Naruto couldn't enjoy his breakfast. He was feeling screwed. He didn't exactly know why… and one more thing. Where the hell were baachan and Shizune-neechan?

--

"Ladies and gentlemen… I welcome you to this… Humble adobe." Shizune shivered, hearing Tsunade talking with that tone. It was the tone that she only used when she treated serious affairs with important people. It was a bit of cockiness with seriousness and sarcasm. Like, calling humble adobe the largest and most luxurious dining (well, breakfasting, in that moment) room of the hotel and probably the island. And there was the matter of the people sitting around the table… the five kages. And she thought every daimyo of the elemental countries. She swallowed and shivered in fear when she found the eyes of the Tsuchikage on her. They were as cold as ice.

"…" The young redheaded Kazekage kept silent while observing the situation and going trough the file that had been given to him and all the others, a copy each. He was the only Kage without attendants accompanying him.

"So, Hokage-sama…" The Mizukage let his eyes wander around for a bit from behind his mask on the photos. "Shall we begin the official opening?"

"Of course. So… please open your files at the first page." Hearing the Hokage's words, the other people present there did as was told to them. The first page of the file with the green cover was a profile of the… Target. Prey. Fortunate bastard. Many in the room didn't know how exactly to call him. "We're here for… well, the biggest man-hunt ever realized. And at the same time, the biggest bets I've ever seen." This earned a chuckle from the Raikage, and at the same time a strange noise coming from the Tsuchikage. It was something between a snort and a 'Hmmm…'.

"The resemblance is… Stunning." He said. He emitted a mix between a snort and a laugh, this time, massaging his forehead. "I would know… He's the one who gave me this scar. And I thought that just the Sandaime, at the time, could ever lay a hand on me… But, is he the real thing? Appearance can be deceiving…"

"He is." Jiraiya nodded, voicing his opinion. "I would know… I'm his godfather and the one who gave him his name…"

"… Quite the godfather, you are… He's been alone for the first 12 years of his life." Gaara had never been one who bottled his thoughts, when he could do otherwise. And Jiraiya felt like someone had just stabbed him in the stomach. Tsunade had opted for sending him flying from the Hokage tower to the borders of Konoha.

"Ehm, you see… I… Kinda forgot…"

"…" Gaara's eyes narrowed a little. "If I don't Sabaku souso your family jewels right now, Jiraiya-sama it's just because it would cause political incidents." While Jiraiya cringed, Gaara made sign to Tsunade to continue. Tsunade crossed her arms in front of… Well, under her chest.

"As Jiraiya confirmed, the subject really is the Yondaime's offspring. And… As basically everyone of you know, he's the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune." This caused some murmurs from some people in the room, and the Raikage turned and gave one of his attendants a strange look. "The other pages in the files are about the… contestants in the game. And that's what you should gamble on. There are various things that you can also place bets on."

"Who's going to take his virginity, on which day of the month he's going to lose it, his first three…" Jiraiya left the conversation courtesy of one punch from Tsunade. Even if THOSE were the subjects of the bets, there was no reason to make a list of it at voice. They had the written one already.

"Ehm… Yes. The point of this meeting is to tell you that the betting is now open." This earned chuckles and even cheers. Tsunade smirked. "Place your bets from time to time on the form and then submit them to me or Jiraiya or Shizune."

"WHAT?!"

"…" Gaara stared a bit at the Hokage and then pulled out a betting form. Amount to bet, on what to bet, your bet… Gaara began to write.

In the meanwhile, the Raikage with a movement of his hand dismissed his attendants. One of them, in particular, was very grateful for that.

--

In the meanwhile, at the beach, Itachi and Pein were organizing the sports game of the day. Naruto blinked when he heard the name.

"Beach… American football?" He blinked more and more. Itachi just smiled and nodded.

"Yes, exactly. Differently from the normal American football, the field is much smaller and each team can only have five members."

"Ehm…" Naruto scratched his nose. "But what is American Football in the first place?" Itachi blinked, and then chuckled, scaring the hell out of most of the people around him. Pein just stared.

"Right, I forget that unlike us, they can't break the fourth wall. What about I give you a quick review of the rules?" He asked. Naruto blinked and then grinned.

"Why not! I want to do something, this morning! And five team-mates…" Naruto turned around and pointed at four people from Konoha and then himself. "Neji, Sai, Lee and Chouji!" Neji groaned, cause now Lee was eager to play as well. One he could endure, but both Naruto and Lee… Sai just smiled and Chouji trusted his punch in the air. In the meanwhile, Itachi turned smiling to his foolish little brother and his foolish little comrades… apart the enormous one, of course.

"So? Thinking of joining, foolish little brother?" Sasuke just replied with a snort.

"Why the hell should I?" Itachi rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Oh, well… I suppose that my foolish little brother is still afraid of the blonde…" Sasuke was a bit taken back.

"W-What are you…"

"After all, it was because you were afraid of his growth that you left Konoha for Orochijackson's lair…" Breaking the fourth wall felt so damn good. "And the first thing you got from him here was a beating. Yes, I suppose little Sasuke-kun is…"

"SIGN ME UP FOR THIS THING RIGHT NOW!" Inner Itachi, a chibi, did a 'V' sign with his right hand.

"I will. But… Don't you lack a team-mate?" Sasuke snorted and was about to make another witty reply, when…

"Mind if I join?" Everyone turned around to the new comer. Sasuke stared at her for a few seconds and then snorted.

"Whatever. Just don't get in my way."

--

"Alright! So, Neji is going to be the quarterback. Chuoji, Lineman! Lee is going to be the Running-back, Sai and me will be the receivers!"

"…" Neji observed the opposing team. Sasuke's one. They all were there. His entire group… Plus another girl. He didn't know why, but she felt familiar. Like he had seen it somewhere… On some kind of book. "… Naruto, do you know that girl from somewhere?"

"Uh?" Naruto turned around. Said girl had long blonde hair tied in a ponytail behind her back, and was very tall. Her figure was slim and athletic, and her C-cup was gathering the attention of many males, with that blue biking she was wearing. The only other thing she was wearing was a red headband, covering her forehead. "Nope… Not a clue."

"Well, from how she's staring at you… It seems she does know you from somewhere." Said Neji. Naruto blinked. What was with girls and him, recently? Itachi appeared again with the oval ball in hand and a whistle hanging from his neck.

"Me and Pein will be the referees. Will the captains come forward?" Naruto walked forward grinning. Sasuke was about to walk forward as well, only to be abruptly preceded by the newcomer girl. He was about to shout at her, but hersudden glare silenced him. The two 'captains' came to stand one in front of the other… And Naruto's grin dropped when he noticed that the girl was taller than him. "I'll throw the coin."

"Tail." Replied the girl. Naruto nodded. He would take head. Itachi threw the coin and caught swiftly with one hand. Tail. The girl nodded. "We'll defend, first."

"Fine by me! We'll kick your ass before you even notice it!" Naruto grinned and went back to his team with the ball Itachi gave him, while the girl observed him.

_Uzumaki Naruto… I want to understand what makes you so… Special._

--

"Nggggggggggh!"

"FUNNURABA!"

"What's with Choji and this 'Funnaraba' thing?"

"We should worry more about both teams don't have their linemen because they started doing a test of strength. And the running backs…" Neji sweatdropped while he observed Lee and that strange fish guy trying to best each other while running circles around the field, under the laughs of most of the audience. It looked more like a circus than a beach football match, by now. Neji sighed. "Alright. So, I suppose it's a final match between receivers and quarterback…" Neji rubbed his chin. He motioned to Naruto and Sai to approach him. "Listen, we need to distract at least two of them. Sai, I will need your help here. You have to…" Neji whispered something in the guy's ear, to which he nodded. Naruto snickered. "That should take care of Sasuke and the red haired girl… You, Naruto, will be the receiver. You will have to get rid of that girl and get the pass in touch-in."

"Alright! Leave it to me!" Naruto grinned and turned around, grabbing the ball again. Sasuke, Karin and the blonde girl put themselves in a crouching position. Naruto stared at the girl, and she stared back. There was something odd about her, her stance… She looked more like a feline than a human. He smirked.

"Set! Set! Hut!" AtNeji's signal, Naruto launched the ball at him from under his legs and began to run in front, where the girl was waiting for him. Like he had guessed, Sasuke and Karin were trying to blitz him. Sai went to face them, determined… Then, he suddenly smiled and said…

"Sasuke-kun, is it true that you're asexual?" This made Sasuke fall to the ground and Karin stop, frozen in shock. "It's a thing that Naruto-san and Neji-san told me. I mean, it would explain why you never ever laid a hand on not even one of your fangirls…"

"W-WHAT THE HELL?! I'M SO NOT ASEXUAL! I JUST…"

"It… It would explain lots of things." And as such the debate began, and Naruto was left alone facing the girl. He ran and zigzagged, but he just couldn't get rid of her, it seemed. She was very fast and agile, and all the while she kept on staring straight at him in the eyes.

"You're not half bad…"

"You're not either, but I would have expected more from a Jinchuuriki…" At this, Naruto's eyes widened. How did she… "It's not very secret knowledge, you know…"

"… Probably. Oh, well…" Naruto smirked again. _If I can't lose her with speed… I'll have to use strength!_ "Ah!"

"!" The girl was startled when Naruto suddenly threw himself at him, her eyes slightly more open than before. She returned them to normal when he grabbed her shoulders and started to push. "I see, a good idea but…"

"!!" Naruto was surprised when the girl instead of resisting, actually pushed herself to go along with the push, and in the end, it was her who was on him.

"It seems that I'm more skilled than you in this as well…"

"…" Naruto feigned anger… And then grinned. "Gotcha."

"Touch-in!"

"Eh?" The blonde girl turned around and witnessed Neji walking over the touchline with the ball in hand. And she was even more surprised when Naruto pushed and rolled with her so that he was the one on top, this time, still grinning.

"If I can't receive, there was still Neji on my team. An on-side pass… And touch-in." The girl narrowed her eyes at Naruto and suddenly pushed up and to the side. She was on top again.

"How did you know that I would go for you only?" Naruto did the same. He was over the girl, now.

"Because you seemed pretty adamant on having a confrontation with me. Why is that, I wonder…?" Rolled over.

"Because I've… Heard about you. Wanted to check something out…" _Eh? Why am I starting to feel hot? _Rolled over.

"What? My butt and manly physique?" The girl blushed. Rolled over.

"Looks who's talking. Weren't you checking out my chest, earlier?" _Oh, shit, don't tell me…_ Naruto's turn to flush. Turn over.

"To each their own." Turn over.

"I…" Suddenly, the girl froze. Of all the days, why that day?! The usual tingling on the side of her heads and on her tailbone. Her eyes suddenly widened and she pushed away Naruto with all her might and then ran away, leaving Naruto blinking on his butt, on the sand.

"… What the…" Then, he suddenly shivered. Maybe it had been something he had said? "If Sakura-chan gets word of this, she will punch me into next Sunday! Hey! Wait!" Naruto ran after the strange girl, leaving Neji alone sweatdropping. Itachi and Pein observed the situation.

Juugo and Choji were still in the middle of their test of strength, the fatty still screaming 'FUNNURABA!'.

Sai, Sasuke and Karin were discussing the emo-boy's sexuality.

Lee and Suigetsu were still running in circles around the arena, even if Suigetsu was starting to melt.

Itachi blew his whistle and stretched his left arm towards Neji.

"Wins Neji's team for having a sane person in it."

--

"Damn, where did she go? I wanted to apologize?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head. He had lost the girl when they had entered the showers/changing area. Hell, it was like a labyrinth, but he was sure she was around there because of a big chakra outburst he had felt earlier.

"Hmmm… If I was a troubled tall blonde girl where would I hide?" Naruto had an half idea of using his oiroke no jutsu and trying to think like Sasuke, when he felt a noise coming from one of the cabins. He turned to it. "Found her?"

He approached the cabin and opened the door… or at least tried to. It was locked from the inside.

"Hey, I just want to apologize! Nnngh… ARGH!" Naruto pulled with all his might and managed to open the door… And then blinked. "… What… The…"

"Nya. I mean, shit…"

_Continue…_

_In the next chapter…_

Naruto discovers a new life form… Well, not really. But the point is, he gets to know more about the mysterious girl, who's right now in a bit of predicament. Will he be able to help her while keeping his virginity? Let's hope not… Stay tuned.


End file.
